Is your heart bigger since you left?

by Ingenuous 17 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Ingenuous

    I was amazed how, in a matter of days after leaving the Org, my heart seemed bigger. I was free to love people - truly love them as they were and without condition.

    I was no longer required to sit in judgement of them because they didn't believe as I did. I didn't have to cut off my affection for non-JWs any longer. I wasn't constantly on the defensive in case someone disagreed with me on a "biblical" teaching - and I always had to be on the defense because you never knew when that was going to happen.

    I could finally return the affection non-JWs showed me. I didn't have to pretend I was being nice while secretly holding back in my heart because, as I was told, they might look nice but were actually spiritually rotten on the inside.

    I recognized how conditional my JW family members' love for me was. I finally understood why I had such a hard time getting my brain wrapped around the idea of unconditional love. (I actually thought it was a pretty "worldly" way of looking at others for a while.)

    I am more gracious around others, more patient, able to value the person even if their behavior or opinion drive me up the wall.

    I was finally able to love and accept myself instead of using JW standards to measure my worth.

    I could be happy. I actually wake up in the morning and am greatful for another day of life.

    Anybody else?

  • doofdaddy

    Nah, just healthier

  • Swan

    Yes, actually.

    I don't judge people since I no longer know all the answers. Also, because I don't trust in Jah to take care of people any more, I am much more generous.


  • Cygnus

    I'd like to think I have more empathy and compassion for people since I quit the Witnesses. Literally, when not too long later my physical heart's mitral valve blewv out, my heart expanded to app. 35% its normal size. So my answer is yes. ;)

  • Emma

    Absolutely. It had wanted to stretch for a long time.

  • Gopher

    Good post.

    Being raised a JW, it put "blinders" on me and taught me that all other-worldly people are evil (except those who will become JW's someday). What nonsense.

    Without the "blinders", I quickly saw that many people out in the so-called "wicked system" actually are quite helpful and friendly. My "worldly" relatives and even people in general were trying to treat me well, and it didn't take long before I opened my eyes and finally realized it. .

    It isn't a utopia out there, and you do have to have some conditions on acceptance of people -- especially if they have earned distrust. Overall though, I'd say that being outside the organization has lifted the general distrust of people that my JW upbringing imposed on me.

  • wanderlustguy

    Yep, because now I feel free to accept everyone as they are. It's a great thing.


  • candidlynuts

    i think so.. i see more shades of gray where as a jw everything had to be black and white..

    its hard getting over the cynicism that love/friendship could end over just one percieved offense.. but i'm workin on it!

  • Outaservice




  • Ingenuous

    Thanks, Outaservice.

    I think this would be most appropriate:

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