I had a conversation the other day with a relative - we started talking about death and so on, so forth. I havent been attending for almost 3 years now and really havent been harrassed too much - just ignored.
I stopped attending meetings for a number of reasons, a few were belief differences which I knew would become trouble, but the main reason why I couldnt attend anymore is I felt fake. Not sure if it was just to myself, to others, or to whom. But I felt that people only wanted to associate with me because we shared one thing and one thing only....a belief.
If my grandmother was alive today, she would be livid that a group of people simply cannot show love for fellow man. She was friends with a few witnesses and refused conversion a long time ago. She was very happy being a devout Catholic - and one who had her own opinons on the church at that. But she always taught me to belive what was in my heart.
Back to my original sentence, in that conversation - my relative said "I will see so and so in the new system, but since you stopped beleiveing that..." I stopped right there...how dare this person tell ME what is in MY heart. Only because I stopped going to meetings and bowing down before the Watchtower Society every time they told me to makes me stop beleiving???? Since when can a human read another's heart condidtion? I am saddened today because of this accusation and feel that no one has the right to decide what I do and do not belive.
This same person made a statment that sat with me and reminded me of a lot of posts I have seen here. They said "so and so married out side of the truth and he beats her. While I feel bad for her, it is her own fault for not marrying a brother." It's things like this that make me so angry! Of course, I have also heard this relative say that the friends are tired....I am so confused on their stance, if there is one.
Me on the other hand, just thinks that we should all be good to one another and that there is a God (or higher being). I do follow my old beliefs that my grandmother instilled in my as a child and probably always will. I try to look at people as they all have good in their hearts and sometimes just need some love.
I really needed to get this off of my chest and I appreciate you listening. Please add/comment as you would like...I guess I am just set back as to how conditional love can be to some people.
Garnet - just truly saddened today