LittleToe's Travels - Summer of 2005

by LittleToe 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • LittleToe

    So, hmmm, highlights from the BBQ...

    Well, Simon, Ang and I were in the same accommodation... ahem, let me qualify that - in the same BnB, seperate rooms, in a totally non-metro-sexual kinda way... honest guv'nor.

    We decided to go for an early pint, rather then impose on Mike too early, at which point SImon decided to show us how effective GPS navigation was. I have to admit I was impressed, especially when it took us around the houses on the return trip, just because we had been pointing in the wrong direction in the pub carpark Anyway, we made it that, and that's all that counts... or at least that's what Simon told me.

    On arrival it was a quick round of "hellos" and "where's the beer?". Mike's operation scar was truly amazing. He proudly presented it before any of us had a chance to eat anything. I personally think it was his idea of a way to keep food costs down this year

    Fortunately, having seen my fair share of battle-wounds, and having caused a few... I was immune...ok, I admit, I was halfway through my first beer, and braced myself against something solid (sorry Simon ).

    Well, the garden got fuller and fuller, crazier and crazier... and that was just the halftime entertainment! Tij serenaded us, Ballistic threw out a few chords, and all we were missing was someone playing the spoons - oh yeah, there was spooning, too, but not in front of the children.

    We never did get to the bottom of the beer barrel, which was surprising, given that it was so darned hot, but it seemed that everyone was avoiding this wierd German beer-type stuff. Who the heck brought that?!!! Man alive, ma poor hebridean tootsies were switherin'. There were so many people there that ya didn't really get to talk to any one person for more than a few minutes, before someone else took you off in another direction - or was that just my short attention span? By the way, have you tried that personality defect quiz?

    It was wonderful to see so many faces there again, folks from the board, some who have never posted, and a pile of the locals, too. I could ramble on and on about catching up with everyone and all the tales, but I shan't bore y'all, and besides, it's an experience that you have to be there for. Reason enough to attend next year, ya heaving bunch o' procrastinators!!!

    Mid-evening we moved off to the pub, via a quick nip back to the accommodation for a shower and change. Did I tell ya that it was hot there? I made the mistake of taking a sweater with me, as last year it had got chilly in the evening. This year it was unnecessary, and I started to get less concerned about Tij's plans to sleep on the beach.

    All the seats were taken, and being gentlemen (most of us, at least) when we did acquire a seat it wasn't long before we gave them up for the waifs and strays ladies. I tried one of the mini-seats, but almost dislocated my hip getting out of it. Derek seemed to find it just fine, however

    I should just add, at this point, that Derek and Dominique look a lovely pair, together. For all we teased him, we were in awe! She's got a great sense of humour, and they are a handsome couple. That notwithstanding, the "Fundy" comment was a typo, but I didn't have the heart to correct it, as it amused me so. I hope to see them next month in Amsterdam. Talking of which, we even managed to slip outside for a quick puff. Can ya believe that English pubs are fast becoiming nonsmioking? Ye gads, sah, we'll soon be loike the Irish!

    Well, Cordelia got more and more amusing as the evening wore on for various reasons taht I shan't elaborate on, however poor Sirona, having driven the pair of them down, was exhausted. I escorted her back to her accommodation, before rejoining the group for the second round. I was kinda amused, because I slipped in the side gate of the beer garden. It was a really effective lock-in LOL. At this point I think Cordelia realised she had gone and was concerned for her. However, after much reasoning we got her to stay, albeit the party didn't last an awful lot longer as we all got kicked out at midnight. be continued...

  • sonnyboy
    Then, at the last minute I noticed a car ahead swerved into the left lane revealing that they had narrowly avoided a log of wood.

    They have wood in Scotland?

    No, wait, that's Iceland.

    Never mind.

  • Englishman

    he he he.

    I DO remember giving Simon a big hug and asking him how he felt about his sexuality..and I'm pretty sure Lil Toe was the one who put the idea into my head that I should ask him that.

    He didn't hug me back either, in fact he was postively frigid..


  • LittleToe

    Mike: For gawdsake don't try it with ISP. Gadget and I did, and almost lost our hands to frostbite!!! LOL

  • orangefatcat

    Gawd can you imagine going at it with ISP about the pedophiles and homosexuals. Golly you'd have to hold him down and gag him.


  • LittleToe

    ...and so to continue...

    The party had ended??? Naww, the party had just begun!

    Crumpet, KatieKitten, Tij and I decided to go down town. Actually that's a lie. We had no intention of going down town initially, but decided to go to the beach mudflats for a stroll.

    Tij stumbled across a football (soccer), and we ended up kicking it about in the dark. Then we went for the moonlit balancing beam act. That one was a little bit dodgy, given that we couldn't properly see where to put one bl**dy foot in front of another. I laughed at Tij's poor and feeble attempts to balance, before promptly falling off myself

    Anyhow, it was about this time that Crumpet had decided to wander off by herself. One moment she was with us, and declared she wanted to paddle to wash the sand mud off her feet, and the next minute she'd gone! Fortunately Katie had her cell number, and called her, only to find that she'd legged it off towards the bright lights of Weston Supermare. Now I'll grant you she had a bit of the moth in her, but no-one could have expected that she's find a West coast seasside town so alluring - maybe it was the exquisite fragrance of deep fried kebabs, who could tell?

    And so we gave chase... which was a little difficult in the dark, on sand mud, with potential rapists around every windbreak! So we decided that discretion was the better part of valour, and walked up to the road, which ran parallel to the beach, which at least had some meager lighting.

    We finally caught up with her in front of some hotel, that I've forgotten the name of,. but had the most garish red flourescent lighting you can imagine. Think of a cross between Vegas and Faulty Towers, and you're nearly there. Anyway, there she was, basking in the noctrurnal glow - a happy Crumpet.

    And so we continued on into town, admiring the nightlife and the scantily clad nubile bodies of the local residents. Actually we didn't so much admire them as slag them of something rotten, but we did it very discretely, for fear of getting beaten up. Crumpet noticed a nightclub, at this point (well we all did, because our chests we getting stoved in by the volume of the bass), and decided she wanted to dance. I have to confess, that whilst I had gained my second wind, and am happy to dance with the worst of them, I didn't really like the look of the club. And so we let her queue for us.

    Meanwhile we took the opportunity to watch the imaginative decor of a local portable eating establishment. We were starting to feel a little hungry by this time, however "haddock a la bubonic", and "kebab au rat et van" didn't really take our fancy. On second glance our voyeuristic eyes noted that the proprietor of said business had no hair, and we considered it fortunate observation, if that was what his culinary delights did to his hair folicles To cut a long story short, we decided to pass.

    At this point Crumpet returned to announce that they didn't permit jeans. Absence of clothing appeared to be permitted, but no jean type material Well, that was me screwed then, as I was the only one wearing jeans. Fortunately the others took pity on the poor, under-dressed Hebridean chump, and we walked further into the darkness of the town.

    Finally the hunger-pangs won out and we approached a Fish and Chip shop, and decided to sample the wares. We huddled up on a wall, while we ate, enjoyed the spectacle of a couple breaking up before our very eyes, before she slapped him and stormed off into a nearby club. He did the guy thing of standing ther glowering, before finally turning on his heel and going home. After all, there was likely beer at home, right?

    We also noticed someone launch themselves over someone else, fallk over and land in a heap. The police were right on the corner and went to investigate, but they eventually appeared to be okay. It was a distance aways, so imagine our surprise when we saw Mike's daughter Samantha with a bump on her head, the next morning Apparently she'd attempted to jump on her brother's back for a piggy back, but.. ermm... didn't quite achieve her objective, before landing rather unceremoniously on the deck.

    Alas it was time to part, and so in a flurry of huge hugs we split up, the gentlemen doing gentlemanly things, as gentlemen do, walking back the ladies to... wherever "back" is. The journey out was funnier than the journey in, as I had Katie all to myself - did I tell y'all how funny she is? It was a scream, and I guess this is a good point to apologise to Mike's neighbours, especially if they heard the trench joke on the way back to the car... I'm convinced her s/o must live in a lunatic assylum, as there's only so much constant hilarity an individual can take... unless you're Ken Dodd, or someone equally frivilous...

    Tij decided that shoreline rapists weren't for him, and settled for the car-seat crick in the neck, instead. be continued...

  • Valis

    WTF LT? No camping behind the local Coast Guard office? You must be getting old..


    District Overbeer "Scotchland Survivor" class

  • LittleToe

    Gimme a chance, ya dreadlocked, Texan heathen - I'll get to the good Scotch stuff soon...

  • Gadget
    "Scotchland Survivor"

    It took you longer to escape from Geordieland though..........

  • Valis

    Oi! Hey Gadget! I hope your town has recovered from my motorcycle ride in the doggy helmet!... And yes it did take me longer to escape the land of Vizz magazine, witches and great beer, but hey..if your next destination was Manchester what do you expect? Hey man I hope you are well and maybe you will come and visit soon. Maybe drag LT along so we can leer at that sexy Scotchish whore in the plaid skirt. Oh and pinch that good lookin expat chickie for me...


    District Overbeer

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