Inapropriate behavior by jw family members (page 2)

ButtLight

And make sure it STINKS!

Hell thats never a problem for me! I love baked beans!

Scully

I guess i get so discusted when i find out they are all together, and i wasnt invited! It happens all the time. Sometimes i think its my fault, and im just jealous! And the next time i think thats just not right!!

ButtLight

It is NOT your fault. You have every right to feel offended. What they are doing is cruel. What they are doing is NOT loving. It is NOT right to do this to another person.

If you read any information about bullying and "mobbing" (which is like bullying, but it occurs in the workplace between adults), this kind of social casting out or exclusion of the targeted person is a very mean, vindictive, and aggressive form of bullying.

It is NOT your fault.

JH

Why is that ok, but he cant even take his own sister????????????

Could his wife be in back of that?

ButterflyCharmer

I know what your going through.
The fact is that you are 'marked'. They have less to answer for with those other people
around, than you. Its stupid and its hypocritical.

In my situation, my parents are shunning my sister and I, but they currently have this
worldly girl living in their home. She is a work mate of my other sister, and she was in
an abusive realtionship. Now, i am all about helping people in their time of need, dont get
me wrong. But they have her living there in their home, helping her to buy a car, and helping
her to get on her feet. She is this former drug addict who lost her children because she
couldnt keep herself clean. I got this very bad feeling when i met her, she is the type that
will take all she can get until you are fed up with it, and i get that feeling from what my
sister has told me about her. So, after all this that they know about this woman, they rather
have her LIVE in their home with them and not have anything to do with their own daughters.
It is disgusting and very hurtful.

I hope things work out for you and your brother!

BC

ButtLight

Could his wife be in back of that?

She agreed it was wrong, but still does it! And the saddest thing is, i clean houses for a living, including theirs. And they wanted me to come clean early because they were having a family get together! I wasnt invited of course. So my 15 year old son said to my brother, "she is good enough to scrub the shi* off of your toilets, but not good enough to come for dinner? yeah for my son!

blondie

HYPOCRITE

actor, attitudinizer, backslider, bigot, bluffer, casuist, charlatan, cheat, con man, crook, deceiver, decoy, dissembler, dissimulator, fake, faker, four-flusher, fraud, hook, humbug, imposter, impostor, informer, lip server, malingerer, masquerader, mountebank, pharisee, phony, playactor, poser, pretender, quack, sham, sharper, smoothie, sophist, stool pigeon, swindler, trickster, two-face, two-timer, whited sepulcher, wolf

ButtLight

LMAO blonde, I think you hit it right on the head, or the other head? That would be better!

ButtLight

Blonde, as a matter of fact, I think you could help me here. I also take care of my parents. They are divorced, one df'd, the other not. I am good enough to bring meals every night to the both of them. They cant take care of themselves. I have 4 kids to take care of also. But my brother can vacation all the time with worldly people, and leave me the honors! Also, my dads wife is a devout jw. She left him for alcohol abuse! Now she cant divorce him, but they live seperately, and she keeps all his money!!!!!!!!!!! She only takes care of him on weekends! Whats up with that? They are still married. So, shouldnt she be responsible for him still? He no longer drinks, so shouldnt she, according to the bible, get back togheter with him? She has no grounds for seperation now! You would be the perfect person to help me write a letter about all of this, scripturally!

blondie

Well, there are legal and there are moral responsibilities.

You could establish in court (or some other way through the government) the responsibilities of each person. But how to enforce it? That's the rub.

You cannot legislate love.

Do what you can and try to get your brother involved if only to pay for someone to relieve you.

As to forcing your father and stepmother back together; elders have tried around here to no avail to get separated couples to live together (and unless someone slips up, nothing to DF them over; just loss of "privileges."). As to grounds for separation, it is hard to know what went on behind closed doors. Just because he has quit drinking doesn't mean he has asked for her forgiveness and tried to make amends (part of the AA guidance). Also, if she has all his money; ask yourself how that is possible without your father's permission. If it is illegal and he capable of acting for himself, he should take the necessary legal steps. If it is with his permission, then you would have to establish that she is doing something illegal.

Lots of info not here for me to answer.

I was the enabler in my family; the peacemaker, the caretaker for 35 years. Then I resigned and told my siblings, it was now their turn. I have some unique situations with my parents and have told them I won't personally help them. But I would not see them turned out on the street. Fortunately, they are both in good health (both divorced and remarried) and have spouses that can help them and good insurance.

Remember, buttlight, you have a unique responsibility to your children that comes first until they can take care of themselves. Your parents are the responsibility of their spouses and children.

I will tell you that this problem is not unique to JWs. I have heard others talk about this problem at work, in the neighborhood, and my non-JW friends.

Blondie

KittyLiquor

Well, seeing as you are bringing up a subject that is very hard to deal with and at the same time it is my family, I will have to chime in here. Our brother has also found it ok to come and visit, eat dinner, spend time at the beach, drink with us....a gay couple for a week or so and leave with a "clean" conscience, so long as I didn't say anything to our father that he was visiting us. Father still a JW, but not attending meetings. He stayed in the same hotel w/ his now wife in the same bed I might add....and that was ok???? I know, I was in his room...one bed was still made with suitcases on it. Tell me this is the kind of behavior a good lil' JW carries on after being reinstated...?????????? If I didn't love him, I would have turned him in years ago....I may still....Life's a bitch and then you die, RIGHT??? So......thanks for listening to my ranting. Love ya, Butt!!!

Inapropriate behavior by jw family members

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