The Four Agreements

by darkuncle29 2 Replies latest jw friends

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  darkuncle29

  The Four Agreements

  Be Impeccable With You Word

  Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

  Don’t Take Anything Personally

  Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality; their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

  Don’t Make Assumptions

  Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstanding, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

  Always Do Your Best

  Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

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  As for not taking things personally, I think that might be a bit naive. Tell the Jews who survived that they were taking it personal. I think we just need to be aware of what is going on around us (in general) and not allow other people to harm us if that is their intention. Otherwise I like the ideas here; my room mate has them hanging in our bathroom.
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  Gretchen956

  I have to agree with you. My partner is always saying that what she says can't hurt anyone because if they are hurt its because they choose to take it that way. Personally I think thats as much of an excuse as the born again thing. As long as you're forgiven you have a free pass. That way its never your fault. You can be as self righteous, as critical, as insensitive, as negative, as hurtful as you want to be and if someone gets their feelers hurt it is never your fault.

  I don't think so.

  Sherry
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  talesin

  Those are great, I'm gonna save them.

  Some different thoughts on 'not taking it personally'.

  It means to me that others will have bad behaviours. I will hurt less if I realize that it's all about them, their ways of acting out, and not because of anything I have done. It does not mean they are absolved of said behaviours.

  I can call them on it, and don't have to tolerate it in any way, shape or form. Hey, if someone is being rude, nasty or dangerous, I will do whatever is necessary for my own protection and well-being.

  I won't sit around and ask myself "why are they treating me this way?" I'm not a mind reader, and have no wish to psychoanalyze every dip$h*t that comes down the pike. Quite frankly, who cares? That's their problem to work out, not mine. I also refuse to waste my energy by allowing them to push my anger buttons. (still, I have my moments ....)

  tal