Not recongnizing family

damselfly

I have been out if the JW's since I was 18 and I moved clear across the country. I moved back into my hometown around 3 years later, and promptly got kicked when I was down by the JC ( who lied about their reasoning.. but that is a different thread entirely!!!!)

So needless to say I no longer have a family of any kind.Last night I was in the grocery store and noticed that a woman was passing by with her cart and sort of half smiling / half sad looking at me. I gave her a smile back and continued on my way. It wasn't until I was in the next aisle over that I realized it was my cousin!!! I can't believe I didn't know who she was.We grew up together ( next door!!!) and she is my age so we were in a lot of the same classes in school as well. I looked for her in the store but she had vanished. At least I know what she looks like now, next time I see her I'll say hello and see if she's willing to have a conversation.

jula71

Yet they say they do it out of "love", it truly is sad. I hope you get a chance to see her again and let her know you have never been better.

Crumpet

Damselfly thats so heart-rending. I know exactly what you mean. I have no family either - I worry that if I did pass my sisters or my mum I wouldn't know who they were.

talesin

That happened to me last summer. This woman came into the store and asked if her wedding bands had been sized. I had no idea who she was until she spoke. Then I realized, I was looking in the mirror (well, almost). It was my cousin, and she looks just like me, only in her 20s.

She didn't care that I was her cousin, and in fact, was extremely snotty ... poor grammy is prolly rolling over in her grave. Very sad, indeed.

tal

love11

What could you, or any of us, have done that is sooo bad that you lost your family over it- for the rest of your life? It's funny how they pin it on you, saying it's your fault that they are not talking to you. Yet, the government doesn't even put criminals in jail for as long as we all have suffered for just being human. It's sad. Maybe one day they will realize that you can't control other people's actions, but you can control how you react to them. It's the reaction that is wrong, cruel, and unforgiving. I was invited resently to a family gathering on my non-jw side of the family, but because I don't really know them I feel awkward and like I'm visiting someone else's family gathering. So not only do they get you by abandoning you but then they alienate you from the rest of humanity. How do you be normal? Me? I'm creating my own new family that loves people for who they are, accepts and respects differences in family, and intolerance is not in our vocabulary. I hope that you find family again. Blood related or not.

love11

Hey! I just realized that you're one month older than me. I was born Sep.11, 1975.

As a newbie, welcome to the family sis!

jeanniebeanz

Sorry about that, Damselfly. These people are so blind that you may just be setting yourself up for more heartbreak by trying to get through to them...I wish you well though. Maybe you family will be more reasonable than mine...

J

damselfly

Sorry about that, Damselfly. These people are so blind that you may just be setting yourself up for more heartbreak by trying to get through to them...I wish you well though. Maybe you family will be more reasonable than mine...

It used to really upset me when I saw family members after I was D/F but after so many years the pain just isn't there anymore. The only one that still hurts is my grandmother because everytime she sees me she breaks down in tears.I tend to switch directions because I can't stand to see her cry. As for my mom, believe it or not she will talk to me in public ( although she is constantly looking to see if other JW's are around) and she calls me probably about 5-6 times per year just to chat. We always avoid talking about religion specificaly but I am up to date on most of the latest JW gossip.

Purza

What could you, or any of us, have done that is sooo bad that you lost your family over it- for the rest of your life?

That is such a good point. I have been arguing (via email) with a family member the last couple of days and I told my husband that in this family member's mind, I am SO evil. I asked him -- "am I really that bad?" Of course, he said I wasn't, but for some reason family members have a way of making you feel that way.

I ran into my cousin's wife (I guess she is my cousin-in-law) and I pretended not to see her even though she called my name. LOL I just didn't want to deal with it at that time.

Purza

greendawn

What a sick cult how it brainwashes people, it's great that your mother has the common decency not to shun you. The granny probably got taken in by the jw idea that you will perish in the soon to come armageddon.

Not recongnizing family

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