Hell

by ray_omega 6 Replies latest social humour

  • ray_omega
    ray_omega

    The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one of the students was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well...
    Bonus question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
    Most of the students wrote their proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
    "First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul enters Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two
    possibilities":
    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
    2. If Hell is expanding at a faster rate than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct...leaving only Heaven - Thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!"
    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY PERFECT SCORE.

  • econaut
    econaut

    If I could only be that clever on a test!!

    Thanks for sharing,

    econaut

  • zagor
    zagor

    LMAO

  • jeanniebeanz
    jeanniebeanz

    Once again, I don't have the dying laughing emoticon when I need it...

    J

  • PaulJ
    PaulJ

    LMAO- very very VERY funny!!!

  • iggy_the_fish
    iggy_the_fish

    That's very good. I don't care whether it's made up or not, it's still good

    ig.

  • sonnyboy
    sonnyboy

    I haven't heard this variation yet. It seems to evolve every time I see it...still funny though.

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