A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."
The doctor says,
"I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady comes back.
"Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts... Although still silent... stink terribly."
The doctor says,
"Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, lets work on your hearing..."
Dr's Visit
by Greyeyes 7 Replies latest social humour
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Greyeyes
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iggy_the_fish
very good
A husband and wife are standing together in a queue to get into the cinema. As they are waiting, the man in front of them suddenly, loudly and enthusiastically breaks wind.
Outraged, the husband taps the man on the shoulder and says "Excuse me, sir, would you mind not farting in front of my wife!"
The man, apologetic, replies "I'm terribly sorry, I had no idea it was her turn."
(I'll get my coat)
ig.
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iggy_the_fish
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, "Mabel, did you know you have a suppository in your left ear?"
Mabel answered, "I have? A suppository?" She pulled it out & stared at it.
Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you noticed that,because now I think I know where my hearing aid is."
(----->coat)
ig.
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kls
Hee hee you guys
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iggy_the_fish
A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends £5,000 and feels really great about the result. On his way home he stops at a shop and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the shop assistant , "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35," was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.
After that he goes into McDonalds for lunch, and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you look about 29".
"I am actually 47!" This makes him feel really good.
While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a mans age. If I put my hand down your pants for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."
As there was no one around, the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's done. You are 47."
Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old lady replies, "I was in line behind you at McDonalds."
(I have to confess I'm robbing these from here)
ig.
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kls
ROTFL,,,,,,,,,,,love it tee hee
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xjwms
LOL
Funny Fart Jokes.
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kittyeatzjdubs
a man walks into a doctors office totally naked, save for the fact that he's wrapped from the neck down in saran wrap. he says to the doctor, ''help me figure out whats wrong with me!'' the doctor says, ''well i can see u'r nuts.''
........
luv, jojo