Warning my dog eats JW's

by DannyHaszard 25 Replies latest social current

  • DannyHaszard
    DannyHaszard

    Don't Try To Convert Me, Please
    Macon Area Online - Macon,GA,USA
    ... I would like to tell the Jehovah's Witnesses once and for all that I am not interested in discussing their beliefs with them. I ...

    Don't Try To Convert Me, Please
    By: Lewis Grizzard


    MACON,GA.- Religious freedom is a wonderful thing. The search for it and the need for it are what brought about this country in the first place.

    If we didn't have religious freedom, then we might have somebody saying, "Worship the way we tell you to, or we'll kill you." Tragically, this has been said often throughout history.

    I have nothing against any religion. If somebody doesn't believe exactly as I believe, that is fine with me. If more people thought like that, then the world likely would be a much safer place in which to live.

    I would, however, like to address one particular religious group and ask them a favor.

    I would like to tell the Jehovah's Witnesses once and for all that I am not interested in discussing their beliefs with them.

    I was never interested before, I am not interested now, and I will not be interested in the future.

    As I stated earlier, if you want to be a Jehovah's Witness, that's your business. But, please, take me off your list of possible converts, and don't come to my house anymore.

    My grandfather had a lot of trouble with Jehovah's Witnesses. He referred to himself as a "foot-washing Baptist," but he quit going to church when he discovered ministers were using notes while delivering their sermons.

    He believed, as was his right, ministers should be guided by the Lord while they are addressing their flock and the use of notes was, in his mind, probably the work of the devil.

    Jehovah's Witness missionaries began to call on my grandfather. They wanted to convert him and sell him their pamphlets.

    My grandfather was a kind, patient man, but not one to be riled. He had politely told about 8 million Jehovah's Witness missionaries to please not knock on his door anymore, he had had all he could stand.

    As soon as he saw the next group of missionaries pull into his yard, he got his shotgun and explained to the visitors he preferred they be off his property in three seconds. They complied with his wishes in two.

    I was working at my house the other day. I heard my dog barking. My dog, Catfish, the black Lab, always barks when someone drives into my driveway.

    I looked out my window and saw two women standing at the bottom of the steps. Catfish's barking, with an occasional growl thrown in, had stopped the women dead in their tracks.

    I walked out and asked their business.

    "We're Jehovah's Witnesses," one of the women said. "We would like to talk to you."

    "I'm sorry," I replied, "but this black dog is trained to eat Jehovah's Witnesses. Got two last week."
    The ladies left, Catfish went back to his nap, and I went back to my work.

    Again, I have nothing against Jehovah's Witnesses except they bugged my grandfather, and they've hit on me a number of times, as well, and I'm very happy with the religious beliefs I happen to have at this point in my life, thank you, and I don't want my mind changed. And that is my right.

    Catfish, incidentally, feels the same way.
  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    LOL - I like it

  • Joker10
    Joker10

    It remindes me of this case.

    While in field service, an elderly Sister preached to this man. After insulting her and telling her to get out of his property, he calls his dog Jehovah and orders the dog to attack the Sister, who was on her way out. The dog runs after her, suddenly stops half way there, makes half a turn and kills the owner!

    This by the way is a real story and can be verified.

  • Sirona
    Sirona

    LOL Joker,

    You really are a sad b*stard, aren't you?!

    Sirona

  • DannyBloem
    DannyBloem
    This by the way is a real story and can be verified.

    how? where?

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Ok joker, verify it. Bring the verification here. It must be first person, not second hand, not third hand.

    S

  • dorayakii
    dorayakii

    I'd also like to see some verification. You have a videotape of this supposed experience do you, or a tape recording of the dog's snarls?

  • DannyHaszard
    DannyHaszard

    My memorable JW urban legend terror tale is the epic story of the 'evil slave' householder who having just reviled an 'anointed' sister at his home.

    ....Turned to go back across his yard and the ground opened up and the evil slave fell in his own cesspool and drowned.

    Ah yes "it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of jehover".

    My private property is posted.Warning to taunting Jehovah Witness my sewer has a steel reinforced concrete cover.

    Danny Haszard Bangor Maine

  • Joker10
    Joker10

    No. I will not reveal some of the newspaper articles to protect the Sister from harm (people who I'm sure will try someway to contact her).

  • dorayakii
    dorayakii

    Wicked story Danny. Very amusing. I never buy anything from people who come to my door whether they're selling tea-towels, double-glazing or bibles. Its a completely useless and annoying work both for the publisher and for the house-holder.

    I've never seen the point of the field ministry, i even thought it was a cruel work... In the JW doctrine all who were ignorant of the Good News get a resurrection. So instead of spoiling their chance for ressurection by telling them about it all, let them keep their "ignorance" and keep that resurrection option open... Let people believe what they believe for god's sake.

    My dog, Catfish, the black Lab,

    That took a micro-second for my brain to understand that it was a DOG and not a cat, a fish or a "black laboratory".

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