Information for American Tourists heading to Australia (page 2)

ozziepost

I'm not so sure, misspeaches about the second one - when i had a property we had roos everywhere!

Evanescence

I'm not so sure, misspeaches about the second one - when i had a property we had roos everywhere!

It really depends on which part of australia you live in, we don't see Kangaroos jumping around in melbourne, kangaroos don't jump around in busy human areas just like you ex-jws wouldn't jump around in the kingdom hall. But if you live more in the bush then your bound to see one. One time I went to a camp in a bushy area we had electricity and stuff but it had a lot of bush. Kangaroos would be jumping around everywhere, I often seen many jump pass the windows! One night I had the amusement of watching a dingo and a Kangaroo fight! They'll all right (and of cause you can't go near them, kangs can be quite dangerous) I was even able to pat a wild kookaburra cause it was used to humans being around (our animals are friendly!) And I had birds walking up my arm Yes but I have noticed that some tourists can get a bit upset because they picture Australia as having Kangaroos jumping around everywhere which really isn't the case, you need to be in a bush far, far away from busy towns and cities. Evanescence

misspeaches

That's true. Where I live there are lots of Kangaroos around. And since the lack of rain we have been experiencing more of them are coming into our urban area. Unfortunately we are seeing more and more of them hit by cars and ending up on the side of the road. Its really very sad.

Fe2O3Girl

This amusing set of tourist questions has appeared all over the net so I am sure they are completely fabricated! None the less, in case you were wondering.....

The questions below about Australia, are from potential visitors.
They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are
the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of
humour.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV,
how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a
list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)

A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it.
Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross,
straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is
illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of
Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can
scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out
walking.

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you
tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population
is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I
dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

ozziepost

we don't see Kangaroos jumping around in melbourne

Does anything jump in Melbourne?

ozziepost

Most of the snakes are in the rural towns.

You wish!!! There's plenty I've found around Bethel!

Crumpet

that list of responses by the tourist board is just toooo funny!

ozziepost

that list of responses by the tourist board is just toooo funny!

Actually that's a list of responses to the Tourist Board - by the tourists. From what I've seen and heard it's not too far-fetched either. It amazes me the ignorance of many tourists who seem to have a splendid ignorance of of any other culture but their own.

gumby

I heard there ain't nuthin there but a buncha poisonous reptiles, people who talk funny, and drink cheap red wine.

Gumby

ozziepost

I resemble that, Grumbles!!!

There's nothing cheap about the red wine except the price!

Information for American Tourists heading to Australia

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