and how long did it take you to actually do it? how did you feel? how were you able to finally do it?
thanks
orbi
how many here have left a bad (abusive) relationship...
by orbison11 5 Replies latest jw friends
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hopelesslystained
it took me 10 yrs and leaving the jw religeon, as they told me to stay, maybe I could save him. Hurllll.... I can give you more details if interested. pm me.
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Lady Lee
how many here have left a bad (abusive) relationship
Yup both times. First one I ended was with the JW elder. Second one wasn't involved with JWs
and how long did it take you to actually do it?
First time I knew after 2 weeks it was bad but stuck it out for 15 years because the JWs told me I had no other choice. Then I found a way out but that took about 2 years to do
Second time - I was married for 3 years but things didn't get bad until my disability. Took about a year to get out
how did you feel?
First time I was suicidal and thought I would die at Armageddon
Second time I just felt relieved to be out of there
how were you able to finally do it?
First time we separated but he wanted to come to visit for sex. So in my JW ignorance and not wanting to be responsible if he committed adultery (because then I would be "bloodguilty") I committed adultery to gain my freedom. Wouldn't you know it --- he wanted to "forgive me". No way in hell was I going to go back.
Second time I planned everything in advance and had my stuff almost all packed when I announced I was leaving and then walked out the door
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Frannie Banannie
I left Crabby Pants the first time when we returned from Nicosia, Cyprus and he went to Pensacola. He's an abusive alcoholic, IQ 78; yes, Forest Gump with a very bad attitude, I now know. The batard came and got me. Then I left him when I was pregnant (against my wishes) with our daughter. I was working toward my last paycheck before taking maternity leave. It was December; we were in Maryland. He would mostly leave me standing outside after work waiting for him to pick me up (8 mos. preggers!!!) with no place to sit, freezing cold with snow on the ground for 3 or 4 hours in an empty shopping mall at night with most everything shut down, right outside D.C!!! This was when he wasn't showing up to pick me up before we closed in the evening and he'd be stumbling and roaring drunk, embarrasing the crap outa me, then expect me to feel like going to visit friends for hours before I could go home and eat and put my feet up. MF! I'd stay in the car, the jerk!
Needless to say, by the time I got that last check, he'd already forked over the rent money, which I didn't pay because he'd STOLEN all my money from me countless times. And I packed all my older son's and my clothes and belongings in cardboard cartons under the guise of "storing away" a few things. I waited until he left for AAFB one evening and then just a bit longer to make sure that he hadn't forgotten something and might arrive back at home unexpectedly. When I was sure he wouldn't be back till the next morning, I penned the letter to him that I laid on the kitchen counter, describing in detail what a shat he was and that I would never return until he stopped drinking. Gee! I was so naive! I thought his drinking caused him to have an evil persona. Then I called a cab and my oldest and I went to the train station where I purchased tickets back to Texas. Well the mf had a neighbor call in about 6 weeks and verify that Crabby Pants had quit drinking. Actually he had quit, but it didn't do a dang thing for his ugly personality.
When he was going to be shipped over to Viet Nam and we returned to Texas first, I didn't even kiss his sorry behind good-bye. I got a job in the courthouse (District Clerk's office), the asst. D.A. offered to represent me gratis when he read my letter to CP about the reasons for getting a divorce. Among the reasons for divorcing him was the fact that I would occasionally wake up at night with my hands pinned over my head by him while he used my scissors to cut my underwear off. Also, the times we had gone to section (CT's) gatherings and he would get roaringly drunk and proceed to loudly proclaim to everyone there what a bitch I was and graphically described how my underwear smelled when I took it off before bathing! Yes, a freaky underwear sniffer. I quickly became an object of pity and someone would offer to drive me home. I felt no guilt or shame whatsoever for NOT kissin' his sorry butt g'bye and divorcin' his sorry butt while he was stationed in Nam. When his beeyatch of a mother demanded to know why I would divorce her precious self-centered and coddled idiot of a son when he was in Nam, I showed her a copy of the letter I had sent him stating the reasons for the divorce. It didn't take her long to file for divorce against her hubby. Evidently the son was a clone of the father.
Frannie
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upside/down
I left a dangerous Cult after 20 years of selfless devotion...
I didn't realize it was an "abusive" relationship...till I was on the outside looking in...
I also had an "abusive" JW wife...that left the Cult with me...and has now "put on the new personality"...that with the help of a short stint on Paxil...she's a new person.
I'm one of the lucky ones... I got out of the Cult with my family all intact...and even managed to save my marriage...
This is about the only "miracle" in my life...and I'm grateful...
u/d(of the lost all but the most important bets in life class)
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Frannie Banannie
I'm one of the lucky ones... I got out of the Cult with my family all intact...and even managed to save my marriage...
U/D! That is wonderful for yall! I'm so happy for ya!
Best wishes,
Frannie