by lavendar 13 Replies latest jw friends
We have a relative (by marriage) who is a JW. Even though she knows we oppose the organization she belongs to, she still wants to get together and do stuff with us (I thought JWs were encouraged NOT to socialize with opposers). She's a very sweet person and my husband & I have a good relationship with her. I'm wondering if she's spending time with us in hopes of converting us? But she never talks about her beliefs when she's with us. Any thoughts? Thanks.
Lavendar
Hard to say...maybe she's waiting and trying to build up to "witnessing" to you, maybe she has no great desire to and just enjoys your companionship for its own sake, or maybe she has her own budding doubts about it...looks like a wait and see situation.
~Merry
Is she a happy true believer JW? A lot, even most JW's really aren't, their ongoing involvement with the cult is the result of inertia mixed with fear, in varying quantities. That's why the WTS has to goad them practically non-stop to Keep Putting Theocratic Interests First(TM) in their lives and give them Loving Reminders(TM) about Bad Associations(TM).
And if she does drop a big "witness" on you someday as if that was her whole intent all along, well, then you know that her friendship was never genuine, and it will be no big loss.
I'm in the same situation. My other daughter told me whenever she sees her j.w. aunt, her aunt NEVER talks about the j.w. thing.
The difference here is, I DON'T TRUST HER !! This is the same aunt who talked to both my daughters a few years ago, BEHIND MY BACK, and screwed up their religious thinking forever.
My opinion about your situation is, She will wait until YOU feel an obligation to her, and then she will try to get you to go to the hall with her, and see all the love bombing. She will use the reasoning... "Keep an open mind". Then she will close it for you.
Don't trust her. She is up to something, down the road.
Edited to add: They CAN be friendly to worldly people, providing they are planning to witness to them eventually.
Hubert
If she didn't start talking about the Tooth from the beginning then her motives are not to convert you.
Thanks for all your thoughts guys! She and I have had some email discussions, and I've asked her some pretty tough questions.....but she just runs to her elders (or whatever they are) and they give her the answers. She's also invited us to the Memorial 2 years in a row now. We've declined of course. My husband said I should tell her we'll go to her's.....if she'll go to our church. Yeah right. She'd NEVER do that, I know.
We recognize the WTS for what it is. A very manipultive, controlling cult masquerading as "Christian". It breaks our heart that she's sucked into this thing.......
Very appreciative of all your help,
Lavendar
Lavender, I've read a few books about the Watchtower, and done what I feel is a lot of research, but I can't compete with the people on this board, for their knowledge about the Watchtower cult.
However, there are two books out there especially that I think can really help you out with your relative.
"Crisis of Conscience, by Ray Franz, and "Captives of a Concept", by Don Cameron.
I bought my own copy of C of C this week, fourth edition, brand new. I had borrowed an older one and read it, and wanted one for my research.
The Captives of a Concept book can be bought and downloaded on line, for 5 bucks, or ordered and mailed to you.for more money. Try www.Captivesofaconcept.com and see if it comes up. It's got some really great stuff about the "Faithful and Discreet Slave" class in it.
Hubert
Maybe she just likes you guys... since you are relatives, she can hang around with you without too many cross looks.
She's also invited us to the Memorial 2 years in a row now.
Lavender, with that statement, you are teling me she is a devout j.w. and is trying to lure you into the cult.
Be friends if you wish, but also be careful.
Hubert
Several years ago, while I was still very much a devout jw (or at least I thought I was).
I was very friendly to my sister-in-law and her family. She had been DA'd for several years.
Personally, I respected her decision not to be a jw, but enjoyed her company and that of her family. I used the 'family relationship loophole' to associate with them quite freely. Perhaps the fact that I had enough jw clout to keep anyone from hasseling me, played a role.
If she is trying to convert you, that's where you have control anyway. Your knowledge give you and your husband power.
In the meantime, enjoy them while you can. Who knows? Maybe she is in the very early stages of fading herself?
Just my 2 cents!
