Farkel: How is your father, how are you?

by lauralisa 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • lauralisa
    lauralisa

    Dear Farkel,

    I just read through your post of a week ago "What is Right?". I am so sorry about the agony you are experiencing regarding your father's suffering.

    How are you? Your situation sounds excrutiatingly difficult and I wanted to let you know you know that you are in my thoughts. I am so sorry you are in such pain. Please take care.....

    Additional notes

    Seeker, I'm sorry I went off on you like that. My impulse control was poor on that one... should've read your comments again, without the emotional cloud around. Please excuse me.

    Thank you also jst2 for extending your thoughtful and kind reasoning to me.

    Trying not to be a complete dork,

    lauralisa

    It's only water from a stranger's tear (Peter Gabriel)

  • Yadirf
    Yadirf
    How are you? Your situation sounds excrutiatingly difficult and I wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts. I am so sorry you are in such pain. Please take care.....

    Those words echo my thoughts too, Lauralisa. I hate to have to admit it, but I've come to like the guy in a strange sorta way.

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    Thanks Lauralisa and you too, Friday,

    Dad is not taking his last days in a rest home kindly. He has left the facility at night several times to go "home" to my Mother (they've been married 55 years) only to get lost and confused. Mom visits him several times a week, but it is very difficult for her because over several hours, she will only get a few coherent sentences out of him. We're not the only family to have to go through this painful process, but now it is out of the realm of books and anecdotes and is very real in my life. My dad was convinced twenty/thirty years ago when he was very vigorous and strong that he would never die. He now knows that he will indeed, die. Mother tells me that he sits alone and cries and cries and just keeps saying he would like to die. My dad only cried twice around me in 53 years of my life. Now he cries frequently. His "Brothers" don't visit him. They haven't visited him since he could no longer handle his duties as the Magazine servant (or whatever they are called these days.) As soon as he was no longer useful to the congregation/society, he was no longer worthy of any attention.

    The whole thing breaks my heart. If I go to his dub funeral and all I hear is a sales-pitch for the WTS, I'm going to take my right as his oldest son and march up to the platform and tell those folks in the audience what a great man my Dad really was; how he taught me to use tools, my hands, how to do lots of stuff and then I'm going to tell those bastards that I will NOT let them use my Father's death to promote a religion. The religion will go on. My dad will get his final eulogy from me. It won't be from those "Brothers" who read a script at a funeral. It will come from me. Mom will be pissed. I don't care. I'm going to send my Dad into the dirt with some very good things to say about him. Because after he's in the dirt, no one but close family will care.

    And those bastards at the Hall can go fuck themselves and say whatever they want to say about me behind my back. They have no power over me anymore, anyway. They're victims of a Cult that tells them how to think and even worse, tells them how to FEEL.

    And that is it about that.

    Thanks for caring, Lauralisa and Friday.

    Farkel

  • AGuest
    AGuest
    If I go to his dub funeral and all I hear is a sales-pitch for the WTS, I'm going to take my right as his oldest son and march up to the platform and tell those folks in the audience what a great man my Dad really was; how he taught me to use tools, my hands, how to do lots of stuff and then I'm going to tell those bastards that I will NOT let them use my Father's death to promote a religion. The religion will go on. My dad will get his final eulogy from me. It won't be from those "Brothers" who read a script at a funeral. It will come from me. Mom will be pissed. I don't care. I'm going to send my Dad into the dirt with some very good things to say about him. Because after he's in the dirt, no one but close family will care.

    And those bastards at the Hall can go fuck themselves and say whatever they want to say about me behind my back. They have no power over me anymore, anyway. They're victims of a Cult that tells them how to think and even worse, tells them how to FEEL.

    Bravo! And if you need a friend to go with... you know you can call on me. You do not have to be alone... nor will you be.

    I remain...

    Your friend and servant, as well as a slave of Christ,

    SJ

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    My Friend Shelby,

    : Bravo! And if you need a friend to go with... you know you can call on me. You do not have to be alone... nor will you be.

    : I remain...

    : Your friend and servant, as well as a slave of Christ,

    I thought your God wrote me off. Not that I care that he did, or anything.

    I thought I was toast in the mind of your God.

    I'm just trying to understand stuff, Shebly. Unlike you, I have nothing figured out. If your God thinks I'm blasphemous in my process of understanding stuff then he is unworthy of my worship.

    Period.

    I will always love you, Shelby. You know that.

    Farkel

  • ladonna
    ladonna

    (((((((((((((Farkel))))))))))))))

    All my thoughts are with you in this difficult time of your life.

    I was also unaware you were suffering this problem within your family.

    Just remember you have people here that love you Fark......k?
    And you damn well get up and give your father a eulogy.......play for him Farkel.....on their piano!!!
    I did this in a KH early this year for my Grandmother.........I had daggers in my stomach from their belittling stares.......but she got the best of my love.

    Go for it , my friend,
    Ana

  • SlayerLayer
    SlayerLayer

    Farkel,

    I just wanted to let you know that my thoughts are also with you. After reading about what your going through, I thought of my own father, and that brought tears to my eyes.

    My dad and I were close when I was little. He was always there for me when my mom would take out her manic depression on me. The years have changed him though. I watched my moms condition take it's toll on him. Today, he is a very bitter and cold man. He recently told me that he has never in my entire life been proud of me.

    He is an active witness, and wants nothing to do with me. I miss my dad. I know that I will never have him back.

    I just wanted to let you know that I know that it's got to be hard on you. My thoughts are with you.

    Chris

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    ((((((((((((((farkel)))))))))))))

    I can understand this is a hard time for you and your family, and my thoughts and love are with you.

    Let us know how things go. You're among friends here.

  • Francois
    Francois

    I'm sorry to say I'm not aware of the circumstances surrounding your father, but from the remarks here I gather they are very difficult, and I regret that for you.

    Your plan to take over your father's funeral seems so right to me. And your description of how they are now treating him is so typical. I would like to be there when you take matters into your own hands, but I have no idea where you live. If it's reasonably close to me, I'd like to come - with your permission. I live in Savannah, GA. Are you within a thousand miles?

    Francois

    Where it is a duty to worship the Sun you can be sure that a study of the laws of heat is a crime.

  • P4L
    P4L

    Farkel,

    Im sorry to hear that your father and mother are not doing any better. I know that the dubs there have all together ignored there supposed "brother and sister". I hope things turn out as best they can.
    Long time no post huu :-) ehh I burned out on dub boards back on the old H2O a long time ago, but its still good to check in with old bud's.

    Thanks for caring,

    P4L-I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

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