my mother...

by kittyeatzjdubs 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • kittyeatzjdubs
    kittyeatzjdubs

    ah yes...my mother...how do i even start?.....well for one, she's a hardcore jdub. so that should give u more than enough insight. matt and i were sitting around drinking wine last night and talking...then he said, Did u'r mom ever mail u that check?...

    See, my mom didn't talk to me for about 4 months after she kicked me out and I moved in with matt. then about 3 weeks ago, just out of the blue, she calls me at work to tell me that one of the girls that worked in the office at the college she's attending had a miscarriage. i figure the only reason she called me about this is b/c i had worked w/ the girl at a previous job. so she asked if i wanted to go halfsies on some flowers. she said that if i went ahead and ordered them, she'd send me a check in the mail. so being the imbecile that i am, i said yes. i let her know that i wouldn't get around to ordering them until the end of the week, b/c that's when i get paid. so wouldn't u know it...that entire week, she's calling me on my lunch break, checking up on me, seeing how i'm doing, blahblahblah. i thought we were well on our way to a mended relationship....UNTIL....i called her to let her know i had ordered the flowers...didn't hear from her once after that. so i was at the clinic this morning b4 work getting my birth control. and who do i see through the window walking down the sidewalk?...dear ol' mom. so i ran out and was like Hey!! and of course she gave me the look that us dsf'd ones are so familiar with the lovely blank stare. she asked what i was doing there and i said getting my birth control. then she comes back with, OH! That's REEEAAAL good! Just let the whole world know that you're sleeping around!!!....so being as how i have little to no patience when it comes to this woman, i just looked her dead in the face and said, Where's my money?....she just started stumbling around...Ummm...Errrrr...i've been short on cash...ummmm....So i said whatever and went back inside.

    here's the deal......she owes me....**drumroll**........$20 FRIGGIN' DOLLARS!!!!!! THAT'S IT........ and here's the other thing that i have never ever understood. she never has money!!! and i don't understand this b/c my father who she's been divorced from for 8 years, pays the rent on her apartment ($900)...the note for her toyota 4-runner ( ?$?)....she's on his insurance (doesn't work for his company)....she's on the payroll (DOESN'T WORK FOR HIS COMPANY)...AND HE PAYS FOR HER COLLEGE TUITION!!!!!!!!! HOW DOES SHE NOT HAVE $20 DOLLARS?????

    is it just me or do all jdub mothers seem to want to suck the life and energy out of their families?

    luv, kitty (of the i don't have a mommy, just a biological mother class)

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    is it just me or do all jdub mothers seem to want to suck the life and energy out of their families?

    No I was A JW Mother for 25 years. I would never do that. You should have said "Mother the scriptures tell us" not to be owing any one anything" Gotta get her DF girl......

    Sorry about that! but forgive her she evidently likes to look good to folks on your money!!!!

  • Dragonlady76
    Dragonlady76

    (((((((((((((((((kittyeatzjdubs)))))))))))))))))

    Don't feel to bad you sound like a real smart girl and all moms regardless of religious affiliation can be be controlling when they see themselves losing control of their kids (even when their adults!) I had been out of the borg 5 years, (I was raised a dub but refused to get baptized) but still lived at home and moved into my husmands house and my mom was downright hostile towards me, she also gave me the silent treatment , but as time passed she realized I wasn't moving back home and that my relationship with my husband then boyfriend was serious. So eventually she came around.

    DL76

  • joannadandy
    joannadandy
    Don't feel to bad you sound like a real smart girl and all moms regardless of religious affiliation can be be controlling when they see themselves losing control of their kids (even when their adults!)

    WELL SAID!!! I couldn't agree more.

    Sorry you're having problems Kitty - I've been there, done that, and vented about it here. On the plus side, things are getting better between us, but some things never change.

    Live a happy life, eventually she'll get the idea that - "wow, my daughter is an upstanding member of society and does well taking care of herself - even without my perscribed religion of choice." If she never figures that out -more is the pitty for her.

    Hang in there!!

  • talesin
    talesin

    kitty, I know what you mean ... --->

    not the $$ thing, but emotionally, she used to be good at sucking me dry ... nowadays, it's much better, but it took work to get here.

    you will figure out where and when you want to draw the line with her .. probably sooner than later.

    hang in there, I'm glad you have this place for a scratching post. mraaow ;)

    t

  • kittyeatzjdubs
    kittyeatzjdubs

    thanks for being so understanding and caring guys...it's funny that the borg describes the world as cold and heartless...so far all my experiences have been warm and full of love... and the borg was antartica

    she drained me emotionally too talesin...i was severly depressed for 3 years and no one knew why, except me...

    but it's ok now!

    luv, kitty

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    I know what you mean, Kitty. I ended up severing my relationship with my father for 1 1/2 years after I moved out. I couldn't take his controlling bullshit anymore. I was paying rent and had a curfew at age 20. I figured, why should I pay rent with restrictions when I could pay rent somewhere else and have freedom? That's when, like you, I moved in with my girlfriend and her father. Even though I no longer had a relationship with my father, I was happy.

    He used to deposit my allowance into my bank account when I was a teenager. That fvvving asshole went and got printouts of my bank activity after I moved out. I will never forgive him for that. He pried into my personal life and I hate him for that.

    We began communicating again, but it definately has never been the same. I hate the man. He still tries to control what I do with my life. That's why I avoid interaction with him.

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    I have a toxic jw mother too.

    Did u'r mom ever mail u that check?...

    Use her dogma against her. Send her a note with a bunch of scriptures about paying back your debts and keeping your word. Tell her she is stumbling you by not following those scrips. Then quote the scrips dubs use to justify tattling to the elders, that it's an act of love.

    That's REEEAAAL good! Just let the whole world know that you're sleeping around!!!

    Umm, hello? Privacy laws? Doesn't she know your clinic can't tell anyone "you're sleeping around"?

    she's on the payroll (DOESN'T WORK FOR HIS COMPANY)

    So is this company claiming her "pay" as a business expense on their taxes? Isn't that fraud?
  • kittyeatzjdubs
    kittyeatzjdubs
    So is this company claiming her "pay" as a business expense on their taxes? Isn't that fraud?

    see, that's just the thing. the way it's listed, it's legal. it's my dad's store, so technically he can give her any title he wants too. so she is formally known as the company babysitter.........BUT!....that was fine and dandy back when my niece and nephew were like 2 and 3, but now my nephew lives in florida and my niece is in the 4TH GRADE!!!!!!!!

    it's insane!!!!

    luv, kitty

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