i was wonderin...

susu812

how many ppl here grew up entirely surrounded by jw's? ALL of my family and any friends i have had my entire life are jw's and now that i am df'd i have NO association. for my ex who also got df'd he's ok because his group of friends (my old group as well) have pretty much faded out, but as for me i have no one. it seems like the road ahead is all uphill! how did some of you deal with it?

MelbaToast

I was born and bred a JW. My parents lived far away from the rest of my non believer family- I had little to no contact with anyone outside of immediate family on a regular basis. After growing up a JW, and getting dfd..it was a shock....mostly because I was a good person, I had done much in service, an "exemplary" youth.

Blech.

It all came crashing down about age 15.....that was the downward spiral...then I didnt get dfd until age 18. It was VERY hard at first to even socialize with anyone, but give it time. You will meet people, get new friends, and develop a life!

Its dark for a while, but the TRUE light does get brighter....hang onto your hat for this ride...its going to be a doozy!

By the way, welcome to the board *hug*

Melbatoast

bebu

I don't have a background as a JW, susu; I just have a close friend who is a JW. (I guess she really doesn't listen about not associating with worldly people!)

But I just noticed you're in WA... Western or Eastern? There's a bunch of folks on this board who are from the Pacific NW, and there have been some get-togethers. Some people have reconnected with old friends on this board, too. So, there's potential to be less lonely as a df'd JW.

bebu

wanderlustguy

how many ppl here grew up entirely surrounded by jw's? ALL of my family and any friends i have had my entire life are jw's and now that i am df'd i have NO association. for my ex who also got df'd he's ok because his group of friends (my old group as well) have pretty much faded out, but as for me i have no one. it seems like the road ahead is all uphill! how did some of you deal with it?

This one took a while for me, still working on it. At first, I thought the answer was to get as many more people around me as I could, replacing what I lost... But then one day it occured to me, what was missing wasn't having a lot of other people around, but being safe and secure with MYSELF. So, working on the solitary person has definately made me a better person to be around. If you just try to get back what you perceived you lost, others will be a little standoffish, etc because they question your motives for getting so close so fast. Not to mention you put yourself in a position to be taken advantage of. I would reccommend reading and learning as much as you can for a while, until you figure out who you are. People aren't going anywhere, you have this forum and the good people in it, and plenty of time to figure you out. That's the worst thing they took from us, our confidence in self sufficiency. You don't REALLY need anyone else, yes it's nice, but you don't need them to be complete like you may feel you do right now. My 2 cents. WLG

tijkmo

i was like you...did not know a living soul outside the org

all family and friends

all workmates...self-employed window cleaner

spoke to virtually no-one for a year

nothing could have prepared me for the total shock to the system

so one nervous breakdown after another...constant suicidal tendencies..faith and confidence shattered..feelings of revenge and violence

if you only get half of these feelings you will have done well

but then..i didnt have here...and i didnt want to make other friends cos i wanted to get back..and no-one warned me what it would be like

you have that advantage...so make friends..post here..cry for help when you need..pm me or anybody..but dont try and go it alone

it took me a long time even after being reinstated (what for) but im finally getting all the negative feelings dealt with

except revenge

love11

I had to realize that the way the jw's describe ~~worldly~~ normal people was completely false. That people are just people, whether they are a jw, ex-jw, or a born normal person. You may not have the religious thing in common, but you can have happiness in common.

garybuss

My grandmother was a Witness. She infected my father and my father infected my mother. My dad's sister married my mother's brother and she infected him. My relatives on my father's side have been very prone to Witnessism.

Many of my relatives we associated with were either practicing Witnesses or friendly towards those who were. I grew up thinking Witnessism was normal.

liquidsky

((((Susu))))

I also grew up surrounded by jw's. My entire family are all still 'in'. Although I am not df'd or da'd I am shunned to some degree by my family. I never had alot of close witness friends, but when I started my fade, I had no one except my husband. Growing up as a JW also left me socially retarded so for a while I had a really hard time making new friends. Overtime I made a few really good friends, and they treat me waaay better then anyone from the congregation ever did.

I am sorry your feeling so lost. It gets better, I promise. Hang in there. =)

SixofNine

I drink heavily.

Bryan

I was born into it. I lost everyone of my friends, they were all witnesses. Most all my family are witnesses, they don't talk to me either.

Oh, and by the way... I am not DF'ed nor DA'ed!

Bryan

Have You Seen My Mother

i was wonderin...

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