The following from The National Lampoon was particularly funny ( http://www.nationallampoon.com/modstyles/wwwaste/loveletter/loveletter.asp ):
Oh, my love.
How shall I show my love to thee? Let me compare thee to a summer's day.
And let also x represent [winter day] on this horizontal axis, and, my love, let y represent [summer day].
Truly, were my summer's day comparison axis given values of the numbers one through ten, thy countenance would rank at least an eight and a half on said chart, as illustrated above. And, further, were I to attempt to prove thy value in direct comparison with a summer's day, my hypothesis is that you would be far more lovely and/or temperate, allowing the following variables: we shall assume the summer's day in question is a seasonably temperate one with adequate winds and low humidity, and that your beauty is at its apex, and that you've gotten that mole problem taken care of. So then, letting S represent temperance, q represent aesthetic loveliness as it is perceived by observer x, and L signifying my previously mentioned love for you, we see an infinitely complex variance of ways in which I love thee.
More so when we take into account rough winds that (in a controlled wind tunnel environment) verily did shake the darling buds of May - and in fact shook them with a median force of eleven knots per square inch, with minimal variance in observable darling May bud-shaking.
As well, if we allow Renold's groundbreaking 1967 work, Dates & Seasonal Temperance: Findings, we discover conclusively that summer's lease hath all too short a date, and that sometimes (but not always) too hot the eye of heaven shines. Renolds goes on to postulate that often is the gold complexion of x dimmed, but also that every fair from fair sometime declines. To be fair, it is a confusing and enigmatic work; though from it, at least, one can reasonably conclude that, unlike the summer of the Earth's penumbral orbit, thy eternal summer, my love, shall not fade.
(A note on the author's use of the word "eternal": Renolds actually posits in Dates & Seasonal Temperances that when a series of three-dimensional ways that I love thee are forced into four-dimensional space, they are in fact given a quantifiable mass. This, of course, offers strong opposition to the notion that the ways that I love thee are, in a quantifiable sense, "eternal". Writes Renolds: 'While admittedly immense, the ways that the author loves thee are not so many that they should be considered infinite, per se. Rather, an infinite number of in-which-love-ways, when we include the problem of four-dimensional mass, would mean that the entire universe is in fact composed of the author's love. This is patently absurd.' The author tentatively agrees with Renolds on this point, but hastens to add that the ways in which he loves thee could in fact account for the Missing Mass problem. [Fig 2])
Let us move on then to the senses, and examine the breath, eyes and olfactory senses of x when in close contact to my love. Observations such as increased heart palpitations, dilation of the pupils, shortness of breath, incomprehensible muttering, hand wringing, longful stares towards the breast region, and general utterances of indecipherable mumblings would suggest that my love is the cause of sense changes in x. In a controlled environment, our tests showed conclusively that mine heart doth skip one - if not several - beats whenever you are near, and that truly, baby, I find it increasingly difficult to get you out my head.
In conclusion, darling, our team of scientists request a grant to study this behaviour further, under closer experimentation, perhaps over dinner. It is our belief that our findings could be groundbreaking to current scientific theories on getting it on, and that truly, were we to continue our studies elsewhere, there is a high possibility that your world would be conclusively and exhaustibly rocked.