I was baptized September 30, 1990. Just a few months afterward, I received a letter from a friend. She told me she had been disfellowshipped. Due to JW standards, I had to quickly end our friendship. I was trying to write to bring her to her senses and get her to save herself from impending destruction. In my ignorance, I just may have added insult to an already injured soul. I had been taught that to be loyal to God you had to reject what JW's considered that God rejected. She was coming to me begging for me to be a real friend and I let her down. That was a really big blow to hear that my best and only friend did not want to serve Jehovah (at least not in the way JWs strictly told her to). I always had a hole in my heart. I missed having a friend at all. I did not want to tell her goodbye. I did because I thought I was doing what was right. I now believe that I was wrong. All those years being a JW at heart never blessed me with real and true friends there. It was such a cruel joke to be around those who did not take my religion seriously, but looked down on me because I came from that poor, single parent family. I was even more greatly disillusioned by the men who could have cared less about real and deep principle. They looked down on me because I was molested and poor. Somehow, I was never good enough for anybody. I am truly, deeply sorry for hurting my friend so deeply. I wonder if she recognizes that I was only following procedure. I didn't want to have to tell her goodbye, but I felt compelled to do that which I was taught was right, no matter how wrong it felt. Now that I have been disfellowshipped, not that I haven't wondered how she had been getting along since then, I felt the need to try to seek her out and make peace with her.
Danielle [removed] are you out there? You used to go to Redbrook Congregation in Kansas City. Your mother and brother's names were Wanda and James, respectively. You went to go live with your father in Kansas, possibly Leavenworth or Excelsior Springs.
Is there anyone out there who knows who I am talking about who could tell me anything? I feel very bad about what happened. I need to tell her that I care, respect, and miss her. I was only doing what I was told to do by a militant Borg. I just want to know if she is okay and what she has done with her life. May God bless her and be there for her throughout her life.
Cat-er-daynightfever AKA: Royalena
I guess I am a black sheep, too!!!