by Black Man 38 Replies latest jw friends
We did the Fade. We don't want to play by their rules and this way they can wonder what to do about us every year at the holidays. We are very open about celebrating them. My husband had himself removed as an MS a few months before we quit going. Not one person called. Ever. I went to that congregation for 27 years.
Princess
(((((((((((Nic!))))))))))))
You don't know how good you made me feel! To hear that one small item I've written has actually benefitted an indivdual!
Oftentimes we post away and never know if we really do contribute positively,and then a warm thank you like yours,,,well,,is quite touching and rewarding.
I'm happy for you as I watch your continued strength,courage , determination,and bravery! Your struggle is our struggle. We are all in this business of life together.
Wishing you and your loved ones the best always! luv,Tina
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=5574&site=3#66584
Black Man
this thread had some interesting comments along those lines as well
it is good to see one of the BOYS from the House on the NET- i was up at the Big House during the 80's - my congo was up in Harlem
shoot me an email if you get the chance
i'm in the Wash DC area now-- not too far from old Tony Griffin's folks up in MD
he is a heavy boy up in Service- my man conducted the last CO and DO school in preparations for the last elders school- he had mentioned it to a buddy of mine who is still at the house(but wants to leave-21yr kinda hard) that a couple of the old DO were offended that bethel sent this and i quote "Young Buck"
smile
hey give me a yell
james
Brudda Man,
The solution is simple, as I see it:
DA if you have no family or friends that you want to keep in touch with and don't give a damn or want to thumb your nose on the way out the door.
Slow fade if otherwise. I'm doing the slow fade (for the past 6 or 7 years) and it's working for me, although some of my old "friends" have their suspicions, I think. My family who are still in are cool with me though, and that's good enough for me. F**k the rest of 'em... they can go to hell.
holla,
tj
The slow fade is working for me. Although I have a feeling I will be announced as bad association real soon. Since the elders have found out I'm married. I am so amazed that only the JWs would make getting married a shameful thing. Something to hide.
I am much happier now and would never go back to that life.
Hi all,
My wife and I did the slow fade in early '91. Well I should say quick fade.
Took us about 2 months to totally wind down to zero participation and only 2 shepherding calls were forthcoming. We basically told them: Don't call us we'll call you when we're ready to come back.
My parents shun us anyway and their 3 grandchildren. Contact is very limited to family business only. Sometimes I wish I did go out with a bang but it's too late now.
Never regretted leaving though. NEVER.
Take care
6
I am not a dub I am a free man.
:: "Young Buck"
OUCH! Just think of the words he likely omitted. Lord, how I hate the duplicity.
There is this 26-year-old who looks and sounds like a teenager,
who is on one of the Service Desks.
Telling grey heads how to handle life's problems, how to BE-have, and all that.
And Black Man, you have really put out some insightful posts.
Maximus
Things are heating up, good friend ...
<smile>
I da'd myself, my wife still goes with my kids. My wife side of the family are mostly jw including her mother so I benefited my phony jw in laws can't come over or speak to me. lol They can kiss my ass
THE REAL TRUTH STANDS THE TEST OF TIME, IT WILL NOT CHANGE, IF IT DOES ITS A LIE.The sun will rise, The sun will set,AN EXAMPLE of The real TRUTH nobody can change.
Maybe I am wrong on this, but isn't the 'slow fade' pretty cowardly? I think that if you DA you are making a big statement, if all these thousands that had slow-faded DA'ed i think it would send a big strong message to the active JW's..it did in my congregation. I was a model teen JW who everyone said to be like. I answered at all the meetings, did good field service, attened all the meetings,etc. etc.
Then I leave. The elders are furious and we have many arguments, but in the end I made a strong stand and because of it someone left with me, realizing he wasnt alone.
WHat if I had just faded? The active JW's might just assume i became spiritually weak, and not care that much. But DA leave a strong, stinging statement that hey, this active loyal JW thinks there is something wrong with the JW's! As a result i received many secret contacts from active JW wondering what had made me leave, and I was able to plant some seeds of doubt.
I understand many do not want to lose contact with their family, but why mplay by their rules? Why allow the watchtower to continue to control you, they still hold that gun to your head if you fad. By DA youare no longer bound by their rules. Sure your relatives may not talk to you, but how much do you want to assosiate with relatives who are that shallow? Blood is not always thicker than water. Some non-blood family can be much more loving and supportive that blood family. I'v learned the hard way blood dosent always mean a damn thing.
By slow fading i think many many countless JW have simply dissapeared, and no active JW is really noticing. I know if I was active and an elder i always looked up to suddenly da'ed himself, id be awestruck and very very curious. Remember curiousity killed the cat. Basis of the original sin :)
But basically I just feel DA is a very effective attack and can lead to more JW's leaving and does the most good. You realize that if you slow fade you can still be counted for their world wide count of JW's? Although they arent supposed to count non active publishers im sure they do sometimes.
Just my 2ยข....
-Dan
I agree 100% with your 2% bboyneko SENDIND THE DA'D MESSAGE
is the best way to go. when we became JW we had the heart of a lion go out as one.
THE REAL TRUTH STANDS THE TEST OF TIME, IT WILL NOT CHANGE, IF IT DOES ITS A LIE.The sun will rise, The sun will set,AN EXAMPLE of The real TRUTH nobody can change.
