About last night... :o)

by wanderlustguy 9 Replies latest jw friends

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  wanderlustguy

  I guess you guys got the equivalent of the 2:am drunk phone call. Was wollowing in my grief last night over the end of a relationship I didn't want to see end. I had talked about it before here : http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/85555/1.ashx

  Anyway, everything finally came to a head for real and now it's all over. This was the first time I ever had so many needs fulfilled by a single person, I had cut off all other support people, basically said "this one is it". As time progressed, and especially after "my awakening" to the truth about my beliefs, the stress grew almost weekly. I wanted to be ok, be able to let my guard down and let someone all the way in, and really tried so very hard.

  It's really a shame to me because she was the most genuine person I have ever met. But at the same time so absolute and black and white it was a struggle to really discuss abstract issues or any alternative ideas (especially about God) with ease. So it's the right thing, but it's not the easy thing, that's for sure. It was nice to be with someone who knew nothing at all about my past, but then the lack of support while learning about why I am the way I am has trumped it. Also I do not see this need to "associate"(for lack of a better term) with you guys going away any time soon, nor do I think it should. and it's a real sore spot as she has felt if we were the way we were supposed to be I wouldn't ever need to talk to anyone else about these things. In my opinion though, talking to a "normal" person about The Truth is like a woman trying to tell a man what PMS is like.

  Hell, I've got so much baggage I'm suprised anybody could stand to be in a committed relationship with me, but hey, the dream of it was very nice while it was good. OK, I'm done whining for today...I'm gonna go kick a puppy.

  WLG
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  kls

  Morning Wander and glad things look a little better today. She maybe gone but there will be others and the next one could be the right one .

  Everyone of us has baggage ,some more them others and this baggage is what we learn from. Our computers are always open for ya so when you need to vent ,we is here.
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  eyegirl

  ((((((((((((((wlg))))))))))))))) breakups are never easy. however, it's like ripping off a bandaid--it hurts at first, but after awhile, the pain dissipates. if you know in your heart that this is the right thing to do, a little ways down the road, you'll be much happier. trust me, i've been there. wishing you all the best on your new journey in life
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  lawrence

  Hang in there. I got a 2 a.m. call from a friend in New Hampshire just this morning. I woke up to him telling me that his girlfriend - who he gave his heart, soul, strength to, had just left him, "and it hasn't hit me yet." She woke him up to say goodbye, her things were in the vehicle, and she walked out the door. You'll find someone else who can discuss your baggage and you can discuss her baggage as well. Black and white is scary stuff, seeing that there are so many grey levels. Enjoy the good times you had together, and next time you'll have even more joy. At least you're honest with yourself. There's someone out there special, who will aprreciate that honesty.

  peace and blessings
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  Tigerman

  Wander . . .whatever you do, try not to beat yourself up too much.
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  Crumpet

  Whats weird about this thread (to me) is that it shows guys do have feelings. Sometimes I find men (especially the men in my life) very remote and not apt to showing feelings, which in the past has given me the impression they don't have any and that I should move on, like lawrence's new hampshire friends girlfriend.

  WLG - I'm sure there is more to your break up than you have said, but i guess if the fundamentals aren't workable around then you do have to end it. If the love is there though you can work around most things. I hope you find someone who is right for you and your needs and that you can fulfill their needs from a relationship too!

  crumpet x
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  hillbilly

  All the Willy Nelson you can stand and a good bottle of sour-mash will help.

  Things will get better...promise

  ~Hill (Whiskey River Class)
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  wanderlustguy

  There are a lot of little things. I'm not bitter or angry at her, just very very sad. I feel like there's a hole right through me, and what hurts the most is I'm sure she thinks it's no big deal to me. It's all I can do to keep form going there, but I don't want her to hurt because of me anymore. She deserves to be happy, even if it's not with me, no matter how bad I want it to be the other way around.
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  Crumpet

  ((((((((WLG!)))))))))

  what hurts the most is I'm sure she thinks it's no big deal to me. It's all I can do to keep form going there, but I don't want her to hurt because of me anymore.

  Thats one of the truest things I heard a guy say! Let me assure you that is the thing that hurts us girls most is thinking that the guy just didnt care enough to make an effort and that finishing wasnt any biggie. Maybe you should just write her and tell her how much she meant to you, that you are very upset over the end to your relationship. That will ease her hurt even if you are still hurting - that way you know you;ve eased someone else's pain!

  think about it!
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  Dragonlady76

  So sorry to hear the sad news((((((((((((((( WLS))))))))))))))))

  Breaking up is hard to do, but although it may hurt like hell at the time it's usually for the best in the long run, don't beat yourself up over it, with every passing day it gets better and there's a lot of fish in the sea. So try to stay positive and busy.

  DL76