You'll see, someone of real conscience will come, a real Christian......

by Gill 19 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Gill
    Gill

    We went to my husband's grandfather's funeral yesterday.

    I'd already posted a few times on this subject, so not to bore anyone I'll quickly remind you of the story. Grandpa became ill and needed care. we wanted him to come and live with us, but hubbys mum said NO because we're not JWs anymore and it was their responsibility to take care of his 'spiritual needs' , so they put him in a care home hundreds of miles away from family. He broke his hip a few months, in the care home, and finally died a very horrible death just over a week ago.

    We were shocked to be told there was not going to be a funeral. In a few months time they will have a memorial service at the local KH.

    Even my parents, devout JWs were surprised about the non funeral.

    My mum's words were, 'you'll see, someone will turn up for the cremation, someone good, a real christian with a conscience,' words I remembered. We decided as a family to go to the cremation and arranged with the crematorium staff that we could walk behind the coffin when it was delivered to the crematorium and sit for a minute while the curtains were drawn and the coffin left. We hoped, really hoped that someone other than us would also turn up.

    We sat in the waiting room and in came a lovely elderly man. He was introduced by the undertakers as the local Church of England Minister for Grandpa's area.

    'I couldn't let him go on his last journey on his own,' he said. ' I'm so glad someone else turned up to be with him. I've not come to give a service or pray or anything like that,' he said quickly.

    We just told him how glad we were that he'd come and thanked him.

    We all filed in behind the coffin. He went up to the coffin for a moment and said his own prayer with his hand on the coffin and a few moments later the curtain came around and it was over.

    We thanked everyone and left.

    When my mum rang later to see how it had gone, I told her that someone of good conscience had turned up and it was a C of E Minister, she exclaimed ' Oh No! of all the people...'

    I said that not one single elder or MS or JW had bothered to turn up for Grandpa's last journey.

    She began making excuses straight away about how the probably didn't want to go against family wishes and then said ' but we never said that ALL the people in the world are bad.'

    I told her that the only bad ones were the ones who thought that they were better than anyone else and that everyone else was bad, not them.

    I didn't really want to argue with her though, as she and my father are both unwell at the moment, but I know that if they'd have been fit enough they would also have come to the crematorium with us, just to say goodbye.

    So, a christian, someone with real conscience DID turn up.

    But it was a awful thing to see someone arrive at the crematorium on their own, to all intents and purposes of the persons who organized the cremation, on their last journey on their own.

    I'm glad we went, and I'm glad the C of E Minister came.

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    and he came without trying to increase his hours on his monthly service report! he must be a good person.

    i'm glad you guys went. it shows the love you have for your grandfather and it gave you an opportunity to say goodbye. hugs

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa

    Thanks for sharing,

    purps

  • Gill
    Gill

    Thanks Candidly!

    It just feels a really sad day today. But, I'm so glad the Minister went.

    Where were the rest of them......where?

  • talesin
    talesin

    Gill,

    I can't answer that question ... it's like the 'why' question ... I just don't get it.

    but, I can tell you this. You said,

    I'm glad we went, and I'm glad the C of E Minister came.

    Me, too.

    I didn't really want to argue with her though, as she and my father are both unwell at the moment, but I know that if they'd have been fit enough they would also have come to the crematorium with us, just to say goodbye.

    You're a good daughter.

    That must have been a lonely experience, but you got to say goodbye. I don't know what your beliefs are (sorry), but it would be nice to think that he knew you were there ...

    t

  • Gill
    Gill

    Hi Talesin,

    To be honest, we have no religious beliefs since we left Watchtowerland, but we both said that we thought Grandpa knew that we were there.

    Also, going to a funeral, seeing the coffing go is, we have discovered, essential to bringing home the fact that the loved person has died. I wonder what the effect of just not bothering to go to a funeral will have on other members of the family. Today feels really sad. We know he's gone and we're beginning to accept it. Somewhere in our family's hard hearts there's got to be a place that needed that just like everyone else.

    We were talking about the effects after the Tsunami, how people were desperate to get their loved one's bodies back for a proper burial/cremation. It's an essential act of respect and love, just to be there. To see the coffin go.

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    Gill and family:

    I'm sure that your Grandfather knew you were there, and that the lovely C of E minister was there, too, and that he was very touched that *someone* took the time to be with him on his journey home. How troubling that the Witnesses can't even be bothered for a final goodbye, and a sad end to someone's life. A statement on the supposed *love* they supposedly possess.

    CG

  • Gill
    Gill

    Hi CG,

    It's a very sad reminder to us to the JWs have no real love amongst themselves.

    When Grandpa was in the home, his only real visitors were not JWs. After a few months, we grew so tired of hubbys mother screaming at us down the phone, that we were to ask permission of her to visit Grandpa that we stopped visiting the last two months and sent flowers, cards and rang him everyday. We decided not to let her prevent our saying a proper goodbye though. Hubby was getting more and more distressed at the state of Grandpa and angrier with his mother. He felt powerless to help his Grandpa who was pleading with him to let him come and live with us, but he was far too ill to leave hospital and then finally the home. We had no more money to fight with solicitors. We have a holiday coming up this year ONLY because our older children are paying for it. Having no money takes all your power away and Grandpa had had his taken from him by his 'loving daughter' and he was also powerless. 'Loving daughter' by the way is a devout JW, apparantly.

    The idea of her tricking him into signing over all his money to her was that she could look after his affairs, home etc.

    So, we went to see his home on our way back from the cremation, that she and other family members have been using as a holiday home. It was in a state of disrepair. The wall was collapsing at the front as it had been doing nearly a year ago, only the years lack of attention had made it worse. Paint was peeling from all the windows and the garden unweeded. So much for love and care.

    I think Grandpa's last few months and final almost lonely, cremation has given a proper Witness to the kind of people Jehovah's Witnesses really are.

    We hoped for at least an elder to turn up, Grandpa having been a JW for nearly one hundred years. What a shallow hope we had. Just like the shallow hope of the JWs and the WTBTS lies.

    There is no love in Watchtowerland. It's very sad!

  • Sirona
    Sirona

    Gill,

    That is truly disgusting. For them to not even have a small funeral service is totally horrible. I wonder if they will actually have a service at the hall? Why only in a few months time?

    Thanks for sharing and hugs,

    Sirona

  • MidwichCuckoo
    MidwichCuckoo

    Speechless. I read your previous posting and was disgusted at that. This is heartless. I have never heard of anyone NOT having a funeral in this (England) country. How can any one of that Congregation's Elders have a conscience?

    At least your Mother's prayer WAS answered, and a real Christian did attend.

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