It appears that most JW parents follow the insane instruction of the GB to shun their own children in case they leave or get expelled from the org, that's what we perceive by reading ex-JW sites.
That may well be the case in the English speaking countries mainly represented on this board for example, but I find it difficult to believe that the same occurs with JWs of different origins eg Southern European, Latin American, Japanese where family ties are much stronger.
The different cultural background could influence JWs in taking certain decisions such as this. Has anyone come across such cases? Or any at all parents that refuse to shun their children?
Shunning JWs and cultural background
by greendawn 10 Replies latest jw friends
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greendawn
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lamb_neo
Yes, you're right! I am from Romania (Eastern Europe) and here the parents rarely shun their disfollowshiped children. Usualy they meet and speak in secret withut other Witnesses knowning or seeing. Sometimes I find it hard to understant how peoples in US could listen to that bunch of idiots in GB and shun thei own offspring.
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ChrisVance
You are absolutely right. Many years ago when I was still pretending to be a heterosexual, my wife and I hosted a Mexican exchange student, a dub. After nine months he went home, only to return a year later. He married an American dub and four years later divorced her. By then I had left the dubs and lived in Seattle with my partner. One afternoon, we were walking in the gay district of Seattle, and lo and behold I saw Alberto. I hugged him and told him I was gay and he said he was too. We talked about everything in the world, and the four of us got together socially on a couple of ocacions. He had a partner also, a very handsome young man his partner was, (is).
Alberto told me that he and Robert had gone to Mexico City and spent three weeks in his mother's house. He said she had told him that he was her son no matter what. In fact, Alberto and Robert slept in Alberto's old bedroom. Alberto's father is not a witness so his mother could always use him as an excuse, except at the time they were separated and Alberto's father was not living in the family home.
In 2002, I was living in Puebla, as I am now, and I and I was visiting someone in the area where Alberto's family lives, so I dropped by to see them. When I arrived I said to Alberto's mother that I knew the situation, but I thought it only right that I stopped by and say hello to Aberto's father since he had always been so kind to me. ( They were back together by this time.) (I had visited the family several times when I was still a dub). She said no problem. She was as hospitable as can be (as was his husband). We talked about Alberto and Roberto the same as we would have if Aberto had been married to a women. By the way Alberto's mother was a regular pioneer and had been for quite some time. A wonderful family.
Don't misunderstand. Mexcians in general a very homophobic. This family is an exception.
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ChrisVance
greendawn, I'm sorry I killed your thread.
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ChrisVance
greendawn, this is the last time I'm going to say I'm sorry.
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talesin
It depends on the degree you are talking about. My parents refuse to shun me. They do not invite me to their dinner parties with JW friends and family or anything, though. The relationship is challenging at times, but they just said "No, we will not do this thing."
t
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greendawn
Chris your story was great it makes the thread more interesting.
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ChrisVance
Thanks, it's a true story. I've talked to a several of gay xjw's here in Mexico. I've never talked to one whose family shunned him. The gay xnw's I've talked to think it's a good religion, just not for them. Afterall their families don't treat them any differently.
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Soledad
it depends. I attended a Spanish speaking congregation all my life here in the US. My observation was that recent immigrants didn't shun their children, but the more "Americanized" hispanics did, especially if said parents had an elder or MS in the family. Also, if only one parent, let's say the mother, was a witness while the father wasn't, then in most cases the mother wouldn't shun her kids or other DF/DA relatives. Again, I saw many different scenarios play out over the years.
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greendawn
That confirms my suspicion that much of what we see on this board is not universally true in the JW world, but only within the anglo american (anglophone)world with its strong protestant background and even then there are exceptions from region to region or even congo to congo. I could not imagine how an Italian for example would shun his children for any reason.
Also despite the JW ban on beards when I was one I did grow a beard but no one really cared. Only once an elder said to me "why are you growing a beard" and another one who was there said "but it suits him better".