Did you feel their togetherness and nosiness put you in danger?

by LongHairGal 10 Replies latest jw experiences

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  LongHairGal

  I know it is an odd question and maybe I am not phrasing it right but I felt with their cult of confession (not just to the elders) but with everybody knowing each other's business it could be a danger.

  For example: let's say you were a person who kept a lot of money hidden in your house and you made the mistake of telling one of these wonderful friends - what guarantee did you have that they wouldn't blab it to the wrong person and you could get robbed or something?

  I always felt with them that I shouldn't let the right hand know what the left was doing. I never entirely trusted them not necessarily because I thought they were dishonest but I felt they were stupid and somewhat jealous.

  I learned to be secretive.
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  sweet tee

  LHG

  It certainly made me keep my guard up and be very careful of who I shared personal information with. Calling them 'the friends' just made me sick . They think that just because you say that, it automatically makes it so. More cult thinking
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  GetBusyLiving

  I found that the congregations were so gossipy that I was becoming more and more secretive about virtually everything in my life.

  GBL
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  Little Red Hen

  About the only contacts I had on a personal level was with the large extended family, all Uber Dubs. It took me a number of years to figgure out that anything I said to them was being used against me. Things I had discussed with my sisters in law about likes and dislikes, hopes, past good and bad times were all passed around among the 'friends', with obvious reference to such being made in very inapropriate settings. Yes, by my truthfulness and trustfulness I put my own mental health in danger.
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  blondie

  There is telegraph, telephone, and tell a Bethelite.

  This was told to me by a Bethelite.

  I learned the hard way not to tell any JW anything I wouldn't be comfortable having announced from the platfrom. And that included any elders. Even if the elder you tell doesn't have a Chatty Cathy wife, he will tell the other elders and you can rest assured that one of the other elders does have a gossipy wife.

  And you can be sure they won't get the details right.

  Author Unknown

  NOBODY'S FRIEND

  My name is Gossip. I have no respect for justice.

  I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives.

  I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age.

  The more I am quoted, the more I am believed.

  My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name or face.

  To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become.

  I am nobody's friend.

  Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same.

  I topple governments and wreck marriages.

  I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartaches and indignation.

  I make innocent people cry in their pillows.

  Even my name hisses. I am called Gossip. I make headlines and headaches.
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  M.J.

  it put the wife in danger, in a sense. As soon as they found out she was gonna be in the hospital w/potential for blood loss they were like flies to $##@. Talk about peer pressure.
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  Little Red Hen

  To explain my earlier thought. If they find out you enjoy travel, but are no longer able to, but really miss it, they will make sure you hear all about their trips. If you have been shut in for awhile, they will make sure you know all about upcomming gatherings. (why can't they just say parties?) Oh yeah, and they will drive home the point you are not invited. If you like to shop, (and I did not) they will pass around you are materialistic. If you do not like to paint,(and I didn't) they will bring their faux painter friends to sniff, point and laugh.
  All this was way too Virginia Woolfe at the time. Thank goodness I can look back, smile and feel sorry for them. But not too sorry.
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  Honesty

  I found that the congregations were so gossipy that I was becoming more and more secretive about virtually everything in my life.

  And if you were a pioneer bruuuther the elders always had your ass in the library trying to find out from you what the sistas were talking about in Field Service. I am so thankful to be outta that crazy cult that I thank Jesus every day 5 or 6 times about it.
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  luna2

  A sister I knew who had been disfellowshipped some time back and returned to the fold after being in the filthy, disgusting world for 10+ years, was very, very careful who she confided anything in. She had a much more liberal view of how to live her life and who she could associate with than what was being drilled into us from the podium and via the WT. I was still rather wide-eyed and innocent in the ways of dubdom and was most intrigued at the way she guarded her privacy. Smart woman.
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  GetBusyLiving

  :I thank Jesus every day 5 or 6 times about it.
  
  Hey Honesty this is a bit off topic but I'm just wondering what you thought of COC and ISOCF? You must have really loved those books hey? BTW I really like your posts.
  
  GBL