Anybody who is trying to get a loved one out of the jw, knows you have to be open to their religion. Otherwise you are an opposer and they won't talk to you. But you also have to give a credible reason why you can't join "yet". It is also important to word your explanation carefully. As we all know, dubs have the truth, so they are likely to look think something is wrong with anyone who won't accept it.
It is probably best to give an explanation that is based on your conscience as a Christian.
So what I have written is my explanation. It is written so my 9-year old can follow it, and so it won't offend my jw spouse. It is an expanded adaptation of an analogy used by Ray Franz in ISOCF. I will probably add some verses to support some of the examples. It is intended to be read and discussed in a group setting among my family.
So please put on your jw hat, and view it from that perspective. Let me know how you think it will be received.
Keep in mind it is meant not to offend a jw, only help the jw understand and respect, AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, the conscientious concerns of an unbelieving mate.
Will this help me or hinder me?! If it will hinder how can I make it better?!
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The King's Messenger
It was often the case that a king could not command his subjects in person, he would need to send a servant or a messenger to tell his subjects what he wanted. This is a good analogy to consider the different types of situations where God has used special servants or messengers.
Note: The analogy isn't perfect of course. God also gave His Holy Spirit, and the the analogy uses an imperfect human king, whereas God is perfect. Otherwise it brings up some common situations that can happen when a king sends a messenger.
The MessengerWhen a king picked a messenger, they had to be trustworthy. They had to be someone who would not take away or add to what the king wanted. If a situation came up where the king had not instructed on exactly, then the messenger had to be wise and faithful enough to handle it only the way the king would want; no more - no less.
When the messenger arrived, he needed to be believable. What good would it do the king to send a message that nobody believed? And the people hearing the message, needed a way to be sure without any doubt, that the message came from the king. The loyal subjects would not want to follow a fake messenger because a fake messenger would very probably bring a message that was the opposite of what the king wanted.
So the king always made sure to give the messenger something that proved without any doubt that the messenger was true.
Just a Message
Another way a king could make his will known, is to simply leave instructions for all to follow. In this case all who could read the message would be able to do what the king wanted.
If the king was gone a long time, and nobody knew when he wold come back, after a while you would have people who would disagree about what the king meant in his message. Those who were honest and loved the king would do their best to understand the message and follow it according to their own understanding. The king would probably reward the faithful servants when they followed the message as he wanted. If the faithful subjects did not follow his instructions exactly, he would probably forgive them if they were only mistaken, and not dishonest. If the king is fair, he knows that nobody is perfect!
Some would read the message more than others. The other subjects would look to these ones as experts, and would value their opinion. Some experts and subjects would say that since the experts understand the message so well, everyone should listen to them until the king gets back.
Some faithful subjects would decide that their way of following the message was the right one. Some would even hurt or kill others, to force them to follow the message the way they do. Others would brag about how much better they were following the message than others. They would act like they were so much better than others who didn't follow the message like them.
Some faithful subjects would try very hard to follow the king's instructions. They would also decide that it is best not to hurt anyone who disagrees with them because they understand that all people make mistakes. And besides, only the king knows for sure what he meant. Those faithful subjects would talk to others so they would think about the message the way they do. And they would always want to hear what others say about the message, because they know they make mistakes too!. These subjects don't worry so much about who is right. They just try their best to be right and help others do the same. When the king returns let him decide who followed the instructions correctly and provide any justice that needed to be applied.
Some would be dishonest and disrespectful to the king, and they would try to find ways of reading the instructions so it helped them. Do you think the king would be happy with them?
Another Way - Just a Message, but Also a Messenger
Now suppose there was a person who picked up the message that everyone could read, and said that there was a special, hidden message that said he is chosen by the king to be the one true messenger. He then said that the hidden message said he alone could understand the king's message the right way, and that meant everybody should think like him and obey him. Because to disobey the king's one true messenger is to disobey the king himself!
How should the other loyal subjects think about this guy who says he is the one true messenger? What if he is right? What if he is wrong? Either way the loyal subjects would have to be very careful to make sure!
So what do they know?
They definitely would have to look at the one true messenger's secret message, to see if they see it too. If the loyal subjects honestly don't see it, is something wrong with them? What should they do!?
They would also have to remember that everybody would give anything to be the one true messenger for the king. Since the one true messenger wants the job more than anything, the loyal subjects should probably be suspicious that he is able to find a secret message that gives him his greatest wish!
What if there are many who claim that they are the one true messenger?