GBL, no, but you can do the next best thing, and round them all up on some remote island... oh hold on that was already done, its called America.
The Only True Church
by danielweatherlee 39 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Kenneson
You mean it's not the FIRST Baptist Church?
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kls
Welcome Daniel
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donkey
"TRUE CHURCH"?
Do I have to have FAITH at the TRUE CHURCH? If faith is needed then its not TRUE.....truth does not require faith. Truth is fact....faith is wishful thinking.
Donkey
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Satanus
When you have a single Baptist, you have a church. Two Baptists, an argument; and when you have three Baptists, you have two churches.
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aniron
Does God have a True Church on the Earth today?Yes,and I will reveal it.It is the Free Will Baptist Church,Which is True in every sense.They preach Jesus,They study God's word correctly and rightly divide the word of truth.They are not led by a distant leader,they are led by their local leader chosen by God.If the sign out front doesn't say Free Will Baptist then you are in the wrong Church.Look for that sign,and then you've found the right Church.
Sounds like the birth of another cult.
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Satanus
Never take a Baptist fishing, he'll drink all of your beer. Always take 2 baptists fishing, they won't touch your beer.
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Satanus
An American baptist lit up a cigarette and the German baptist was so shocked he spilled his beer.
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Satanus
This Baptist was stranded on an Island for 10 years before someone rescued him. When they found him, he had built three primitive huts.
The Rescurers asked the Stranded Baptist, what the Hut on the Left was? He said that is my home. Then they asked what the middle hut was used for? He said that is my Church
Then then asked him what the other hut was for? He said that is my old church.
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Satanus
the Irish Baptist.
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The Irishman replies, 'Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other is in Australia, and I'm in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each o'me brothers and one for me self."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drink the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he come in and orders two pints. All the other regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The Irishman looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," He explains, "It's just that me wife had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected me brothers though."