The History of Creation and Diet................
God created Man in His own image;
Male and female He created them.
And God looked upon Man and Woman
And saw that they were lean and fit.
And God populated the earth
With broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green
and yellow
vegetables of all kinds,
So Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And so the Devil created McDonald's.
And McDonald's brought forth the 79-cent double
cheeseburger.
And the Devil said to Man,
"You want fries with that?"
And Man said, "Super size them."
And Man gained five pounds.
And so God created the healthful yogurt,
That Woman might keep her figure
But the Devil brought forth chocolate.
And Woman gained five pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And the Devil brought forth Bleu Cheese dressing.
And Woman gained 10 pounds.
And God said, "Why dost thou eat thusly?
For I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables
And olive oil with which to cook them."
So God showed Woman how to peel the skin off chicken
And cook the nourishing whole grain brown rice.
But the Devil brought forth chicken fried steak
So big it needed its own platter.
And Man gained 10 pounds
And his bad cholesterol went through the roof.
And so God brought forth running shoes.
And Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.
And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote
control
So Man would not have to toil to change channels.
And Man gained another 20 pounds.
And God brought forth the potato,
A vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with
nutrition.
And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced
the starchy
center into chips and deep-fat fried them.
And the Devil created sour cream dip.
And Man clutched his remote control
And ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.
And the Devil saw and said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
And the Devil cancelled Man's health insurance.
And the Devil created light beer
Knowing man would drink twice as much as usual to get
the same buzz.
And Man gained another 10 pounds.
And Woman ventured forth
Into the land of See's Candy,
And upon returning asked Man,
"Do I look fat?"
And the Devil said,
"Always tell the truth."
And Man did.
And Woman went out from the presence of Man
And dwelt in the land of the divorce lawyer, east of
the marriage
counselor.
And the Devil said,
"It doesn't get any better than this."