UPDATE................
I saw my sister at Krogers today. Just as I pulled into my parking space she pulled into the one right in front of me. We were both very nice to each other, even though it was awkward. We just sort of talked about the weather, nothing important. Then she said she had to go and I did too. Later in the store we came around the corner at the same time and almost ran our carts into each other. She said, " Oh it's you, I thought I recognized you from somewhere. Gess, I'm so stupid". I just said "That's ok, see ya" and kept walking to the other isle.
As I was shopping, I thought about our conversations together and it dawned on me. In those brief words, she must have put herself down like ten times. Saying that she was failing at school and she didn't know how she was going to do make it, and that she is so stupid, her car is dirty, she looked like a mess, her hair was frizzy. I got in the car and told my husband what I thought and that I actually felt sad for her. It made me cry hearing her talk that way about herself. Then I realized why she would talk behind my back and make up stories about me. It was because she felt so bad about herself! All of this time I felt so much anger at her for treating me this way that I never really saw it from her point of view.
I'm sure to her I have a story book romance, but we're human and we do have our problems. She sees me as successful, I see a housewife with big dreams. She sees my kids are smart, and I see that they have so much potential but they're still just kids so let them be kids. I saw her body getting older and she's looking more and more like mom, which I know she hates. I always looked up to her and never realized that she is intimidated by me. I can't stand her husband, even if I was single there would never be a chance with him. She knows that her husband is a cheater and has always had roving eyes. Every time I would go over their house he would try to talk to me and I would walk away because he grossed me out. All she saw was her husband making passes. I feel so sad for her.
All of this time I never saw it. I felt so bad about myself that I never knew she thought I was better than her. I've had so much anger over her accusing me of things and making up stories about me that I didn't see why she was doing this. I make her uncomfortable!
I'm going to write a letter to her. I'm going to be very nice and tell her that I still love her. I don't expect her to want to have a relationship with me, but I will at least mend things a little. I'll let her know that I don't hate her for what she's done but I think I understand her a little bit better. Love