can a person be disfellowshipped without knowing?

by Crooked Lumpy Vessel 18 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Crooked Lumpy Vessel

  Can a person be disfellowshipped and not know about it? Me and my husband have been shunned the moment we stopped attending meetings. No one has ever called and only a few have come by over the last 2 years. I think the past year we have only had two visits. One from the gossip queen and another from her sidekick.

  What has been very noticeable about their visits is they never sit down and are constantly scanning the room for evidence. I had the sidekick notice my book collection from a dinstance and walked completely across the room to read the titles. Too bad the collection that I had out were old books like Moby Dick and Gulliver's Travels. (no one has ever done that before) I keep my things put away and I hate clutter, so there is not much for snoopers to find. I had a DVD out once and a brother walked over and picked it up as he was getting ready to leave. It was a childrens movie. Darn! I dont think anyone knows why we left, so they are speculating and trying to make assessments.

  Anyway, today we had some brothers and sisters from our old book study pass by our house and as they drove by they looked at us but kept on going. Not even a wave. We have always been shunned and gossped about but can a person be disfellowshipped without knowledge? Would they send us something in the mail maybe?
• 

  jeanniebeanz

  Can a person be disfellowshipped and not know about it?

  Yes. But they'd rather confront you if they can, and it seems as though they've had no problems contacting you for other things. Individual members can still mark you as bad association without any congregation action though which may be what has happened since you have ceased going to meetings.

  Jeannie
• 

  blondie

  You can be shunned without being disfellowshipped.

  The elder body is required to try and contact you by phone and if you can't be reached that way, by registered letter 3 times before they go ahead and DF a person. But they have to have the evidence to do it, usually two eyewitnesses (or at least 2 people who say they are).

  Of course, who is going to check up on these elders?

  Blondie
• 

  brokenfairy

  thats interesting to hear blondie....

  i wont get into my story a bit long...but pretty much due to severe depression i skipped many meetings...begged the elders for help...i lived in a very small town...not a single call...i heard from a neighbor that 2 men in suits stopped by my apartment while i was as work 1 time..(and everyone knew where & when i worked)...no letter or note left...they came to eat at the restuarant that i was a server at and would avoid me when i would try to go talk to them...eventually i moved to try to start a new life and heard through another sister that i had been disfellowshipped that the announcement was made more than a year b4 we had spoken ....news to me!....she was asking me to come back to Jehovah and work to get reinstated and i was like reinstated?...i had never even known...& she assumed i knew...never a judicial commitee...or anything of the sort...but i had been on private reproof for tryin marijuana 1 time a yr b4 so maybe they decided they would use that...who knows...i wonder if i could get my files/card to find out the reason for them taking that kind of action against me.
• 

  AK - Jeff

  Such a common experience - the shunning and hatefulness without any official action taken.

  We have had the same thing happen here - what a sad commentary on the organization that we believed was the Organization of God!

  Jeff
• 

  Dismembered

  Brokenfairy,

  Doesn't that bother you?

  Dismembered

  "Don't you go dyin' on me now"
• 

  cyberguy

  In most cases no. However, it isn't beyond the realm of possibilities. I was being partially shunned, although attending about 50% of the meetings. Now of course, I no longer attend. Rather than let these A-holes intimidate you, why not give a friendly smile, and try to be as friendly as possible? Their reaction to such kindness (or lack of reaction) may help you come to conclusion that I have come to, that the JW religion is a "snare and a racket," corrupt beyond belief, and that great happiness follows by keeping a great distance from it!

  Wish you folks the best!

  Cyber
• 

  Honesty

  When I was trying to fade into oblivion the brothers would call and ask questions of a very personal nature. No visits except to interrogate me. No calls except to ask the questions. I started to tell them that the person the 2 'loyal members of the congregation' saw me eating breakfast with in town one morning was my deprogrammer that I needed to see for 6 weeks because the realisation that the FDS was a sham and a big lie almost drove me out of my mind. But decided it would be a very bad idea.. the window washers may come over to 'encourage me' and then they would have to know firsthand what 'Going Postal' really felt like.
• 

  Amazing1914

  Yes.
• 

  Insomniac

  Sometimes, out of the blue, the thought hits me: what if I'm disfellowshipped? I did a nice, slow fade, but I still live in the same small town. Witnesses still see me around, worldly boyfriend in tow, and I didn't always keep the shades drawn when I had my Christmas decor up. I've never bothered to be very secretive about my activities. So, I wonder, might they have df'd me, and just forgot to inform me?

  Then I snap back into reality, and remember that I don't care how they think of me anymore, that my Creator is the only one with a right to judge me.