Explain Faithful and Discreet Slave Class

by EvilForce 9 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • EvilForce
    EvilForce

    "Faithful and discreet slave class" ...... Here is my explaination of:


    Hmm, yes it's tough being a slave class isnt' it? Hang out in fat pad in New York City, not have to do any real work. Write books and magazines pontificating on how "giving" you are as a class. I can only imagine the stress of your everyday existence. Sit around a prepared breakfast with other "slaves" discussing what "new light" you'd like to make up... I mean initiate. Then it's off to "the office" to sit around some more discussing what pieces / parts of blood chemistry are ok as "true Christians". Hmm,,, hemoglobin good.... red blood cells bad..... platelets good..... clotting agents good, no bad, no good, no bad, um.... up to Christian conscience. WHEW!!! Time for lunch. So off you sit to another prepared meal with other "like minded slaves". You use this time to look around the cafeteria looking for "brothers and sisters" who need their "thinking adjusted". Most people call this gossip... you call it "tending to the flock". Tomato / Tomatoe.

    After lunch it's on to the most arduous part of your day....preparing to "dispense the food in due season" to the minions.... I mean "other sheep". This is where I see the "sweat of your brow" really forming. This "meaty" food (aka next month's Watchtower) takes alot of thinking. How exactly does "time, time and half a time" tie into 1914, 607 etc... etc.... Wait the 70 years of Jeruselum's fall is a literal year, but time, time, half a time is a figurative year, tied into another literal year of 1914, but tied to Romans 5:12 somehow, "And through one man sin entered into the world". Hmm, this is tough.

    You spend the afternoon thinking yourself into a circle until good ole' Brother SoAndSo declares it's time to "throw your burden on Jehovah". SoAndSo rolls a fat joint, smokes a bit and passes it around to other "discreet slaves". The non-marijuana sheep pour themselves a few glasses of the "blood of Christ" (or as Michael Jackson calls it, Jesus Juice). Somehow the circle you thought yourself into earlier in the afternoon now makes complete sense. That joint.... I mean "prayful consideration" really helped clarify your dogma.

    Now it's off to the cafeteria for dinner. Chicken Spaghetti again? How many times have you told Brother Chef you don't like chicken?!? He's obviously being "head strong and puffed up with pride". Maybe he needs some "private reproof". No, No, too much work. You simply make a mental note that Brother Chef will need to be moved "where the need is greater".

    Time for "private study". You open the newspaper and see the latest Catholic priest sex / pedophilia scandal. You chuckle to yourself that "the great harlot" is "reaping what she sows". Make another mental note to include in the next Watchtower "how screwed up the Catholic church is". Sex scandal.... idiots, can't they keep that stuff quiet!

    You figure you can use a cup of decaf before falling off to sleep. On your way to the coffee dispenser down in the lobby you decide to stop off on one of the dorm floors. You figure other Behelites might want to ask "the great teacher" (You) some questions on this week's bible study. After passing thru the many kiss asses and suck ups you see Brother StudyHard engrossed in reading. He has 8 books strewn about, open, underlined.... You ask him how the Watchtower reading is going and ask why he has so many open books. Brother StudyHard mentions he likes to read all the cross referenced quotes and materials. You point out to him that the reason you list those referenced materials is so that HE doesn't need to do that.

    As you leave Brother StudyHard's room you make a mental note to yourself that Brother StudyHard obviously has too much time on his hands, therefore he should get more "privledges". On your way back to your room you notice the light hearted, good natured, laughter in the air. You wonder if the "organization" is becoming too "worldly". Don't they realize how much suffering this is "serving" God?

    You retire to your room to fall asleep in your own bed. Maybe you'll have a "vision" on what we should print next week. Tough day INDEED!!!

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    That was a good read!

    Maybe tomorrow he will write articles making scientific claims that aren't true.

  • Big Dog
    Big Dog

    Faithful and Discreet Slave = FDS = Feminine Deodorant Spray. Any questions?

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    This is a great piece of satyr evil force, points out the facts nicely that hypocritical double talk and makes people laugh at the same time, it knocks them (the FDS) off their pedestal. When their Lord returns we can be sure he will say to them: my wise and loyal and only ones you were very humble and demanded the least and I will reward you with the most!

  • sweet tee
    sweet tee

    Well done good and evil slave.

    Until I read COC I actually thought somebody prayed before the wrote that stuff. Shoulda known better.

    (sweet tee of the 'why was I such a dumb a** class) and the (my brother warned me this was a cult class)

    or the (finally dumped the shit class ... FDS ... yeah, I like that one the best )

  • sad and lonely
    sad and lonely

    damn!!...what did you do man?..stayed up all night to type that?...that shit was long as hell!

  • kls
    kls

    Great wrighting Evil Force

    Sad and Lonely,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,lol

  • EvilForce
    EvilForce

    Sorry if it was too long. I actually edited it down by half. I get carried away sometimes with my rants. Thanks for listening :)

  • EvilForce
    EvilForce

    So how about the rest of you? What is your definition of the FDS????

  • Freedom
    Freedom

    Dear Evil Force, The Bible says there is a faithful slave and a evil slave. (Matt. 24:45) It seems that the wicked slave has given the faithful slave a bad name. Jesus will straighten it out when he judges them. Agape, freedom

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