The thing is, is that he does like our side of the family. We have a lot of fun with him, and he is one of my favorite people to hang with. But right now, he is way under the spell of the church and his dad's ego. So once again a comparison to JWism is fair: no matter how much he likes his mom, to choose her wishes for him over his dad's is not only a rejection of his father, but a rejection of the the cornball "Christianity" that he is being relentlessly indoctrinated into.
I don't know how the next few years will play out. He is 15 years old, but he only weighs about 90 pounds and is still very immature physically and socially, very much like how I was when I was his age.. And you know, in all fairness, perhaps a smaller school might be a better deal for him, where he doesn't have so much distraction. Crap, I don't know. Sometimes I think my sister is guilty of having a little bit too much of unalterable plan for him in her mind: finish high school, go to college, get a degree, start a career. Just like she did. But IMO, he's just not the type, he's not an achiever the way she was. I'm not so concerned about his success education and career-wise as much as I am concerned about losing him altogether to the tribal we/they "Christianity" that is all the rage right now. His dad has gone in for it absolutely. It hasn't happened with him yet, he's still pretty normal when he's around us, but someday soon he will reach a crossroad.
My sister can't seem to take a long view of things. If he doesn't follow her plan exactly, she views it as a complete failure. And I can't seem to de-catastrophize it very much for her. She cries all the time, it's just messy man.
As far as the church and school discouraging college, I don't think that's the case. I think it's more like, you should go to college, but which one? Big ugly secular Ohio State or something similar where they teach EVILution and such godless nonsense, or a nice fundy Bible College where you'll be taught right (i.e. never exposed to anything to challenge your Christian values/outlook).