by swiftbreeze 17 Replies latest jw friends
When i filed for divorce my ex husband was told by his elders what the divorce papers should state.........Then they demanded to see the divorce papers...........They also told him to quit his job because he was missing meetings because of his work hours............
sounds like this man couldn't make a decision independent of the elders and WT organization even if he tried
Welcome Swiftbreeze,
I remember once being councelled because I was having get-to-gethers with young ones in the congo, too soon after being reinstated. Forget that the kids had nothing to do in the woods where we lived... you just ain't been back in long enough to feel be like one of us!
Bryan
Have You Seen My Mother
Welcome SwiftBreeze, I hope you will find some support here...and maybe later a little fun too. Welcome
Bas
After reading quite a few posts I'm able to actually laugh out loud at alot of the things i took so seriously.
Don't feel bad this has happened to me too in similar ways. Seeing that you were newly baptized the love bombing that you probably experienced at first cooled off once you became a bonified member. It happens to everyone, once your baptized and hooked in their clutches they no longer feel need to show you any extra expressions of care or love. This is common to cult like groups, they try to entice the new comers to commit by love bombing and once your in then reality hits, the love quickly evaporates. Don't take it personal it had nothing to do with you, your aunt was just nosing in your life as most JW's do, it's a control issue. The elder was just being self rightous and was punishing you by taking away your priveledge of an assembly part. That too is another red flag of cults, they one minute seem caring and loving and next they punish. This serves to keep member in submission to authority, but I think it equates to mental abuse and is scripturally wrong as it lacks the love that Christ's followers were to show and have. Stick around and do some more research and you will soon see its not an issolated case but rather it all filters down from the top, which is the root cause of the problem in congregations. The whole JW system is built to keep ones in line, just like if you put a dog in a box and electrically shock him everytime he attempts to jump out, pretty soon you no longer need to shock the dog as he is conditioned to fear leaving the box. Much the same as a battered wife will actually choose to remain in an abusive relationship then to leave it. It's a entrapment of ones mental freedom that is achieved by such tactics. I highlighted some of your post as follows to show the points I brought out.
"I had just got babtized and everyone was so happy for me and said how i was progressing. One of the elders decided he wanted to use me on a assembly program to do a demonstration. Well at the time i had just graduated from HS and had started working (college was a spiritual no no) so when i had some free time, i would hang out with other young people from the KH. Well my aunt went to the elders and told them that she thought i was coming in too late. so they formed a committee
They told me that it didnt look good for one of Jehovah's people to come home that late and what would my neighbor's think. I said they wouldnt think anything i'm a young person, young people go out to social functions...but that i would make an effort to come home earlier and maybe restrict my social activities to the weekend. They said i needed to dedicate more time to field service. well later that week he told me that he wasnt going to use me for the demonstration. I asked him why but he never gave me a reason. I was really hurt by that. not because i wasnt going to be in the demonstration but i knew why he took me off and i knew that i wasnt doing anything wrong. Who's business is it anyway what time i came home? What happened to having and being in control of your own life? i wondered if the christian's In Jesus time was this watched, checked and controlled in this manner."
Just another conditioning tactic, sorry you had to go through that but maybe it woke you up to reality and was a blessing in disguise. Sorry for this highlighted color but I dont know how to turn it off now that I used it for the quotes. LOL Anyway nice to meet you and hope you enjoy your time here.
Ticker
It's funny how you when your in "the truth" you don't think of these limits as controling. It reminds me of this holier than thou couple in my cong. that would watch rated R movies on the t.v. because they were edited. They would be talking to people about that movie and would always add "I of course watched it on FOX, because I would never watch a rated R movie." Can you say puke!!! or stupid rules like not hanging out in even numbered groups. I accually had friends that could not attend a movie, dinner etc. if there was an even # of girls and guys. I'm glad you and everyone here acknowledge that this is not a way to lead your life.
I feel sorry for him i want to tell him what i've been learning but i know this will only cause more problems, he has custody of our son and i don't want him to give me problems on visitation. He'll say i'm an apostate and fear for our son's "spiritual safety".
Welcome to the forum!!!
You are sooo right about being accused of apostasy if you say anything negative about the WTS. You will definitely be better off saying nothing to the ex unless you can get custody.
Swiftbreeze, welcome to the forum!!! Glad to have you.
