What to say when your asked, "How was your memorial?" or, "Did you go?"

by cab1000 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • cab1000
    cab1000

    I know I cant be alone with this. You are fading, and dont want your friends / family from out of town to know that you no longer want to be a JW. They may know that you are not going to all the meetings, or not. But since the biggest deal to them has been the Memorial, they expect that you went.

    We did not go. Our first time we missed it. Our family member has asked twice if we went via email, and I have so far ignored it. Sooner or later, when we speak on the phone or in person, he will ask and I will be cornered.

    As you know, the opinion of our once loving family member would sour all the more. In fact, that could draw a line that would hurt feelings both ways. I know some of you are out there thinking, just tell them you did not go! Stand up for yourself and what you believe! I dont plan to go that route. However, I do not want to lie either. So, what should I say when he asks? There has to be a clever way of saying it.

    "Naaa, not this time, maybe next year."

    "Mind your own business!"

    "Dont worry about our spirituality"

    My DW is getting tired of the game, and its her family anyway, so this might lead to the big realization for the family that hey, they are worldly! That is so scary. Not as scary as actually going back to meetings though.

    ~cab

  • alw
    alw

    cab 1000, we are in a similiar situation, been fading nearly a year now.

    i understand it is difficult to just to come right out with it and tell them exactly how you feel.

    dont get cornered. be prepared. work it out what you will say and hopefully the replies here will help you to formulate your own comfortable way of expressing it.

    maybe you could say something like,"at the moment we are having a few conscience issues with our faith in the org. as we have found on the web site of theU.N.a disturbing letter informing people of the jws membership over a period of ten years and we need time to work out our direction from here"

    obviously you can choose any subject you feel appropriate. just a thought.

    good luck. mr. alw

  • kaigh
    kaigh

    you have to face it. You don't have to tell all but It's not going to get easier untill you say something. good luck and hang in there.

  • Carmel
    Carmel

    ....what's a memorial?

    carmel

  • Bonnie_Clyde
    Bonnie_Clyde

    Tell them you were sick. You don't have to say what you are sick of.

  • blondie
    blondie

    Illness...that's a good one, make it something simple but contagious.

  • cab1000
    cab1000

    Bonnie,

    I thought of sickness, but did not want to lie...however..your spin on sickness is GREAT!!! I may actually go that way!!! Thank you!!!

    ~cab

  • the_classicist
    the_classicist
    ....what's a memorial?

    Lol. Or you could say, "I was reading my bible and it said that we were supposed to break bread until Jesus comes. So I figured, if he came in 1914..."

  • Honesty
    Honesty
    Illness...that's a good one, make it something simple but contagious .

    I was afflicted with that illness... apostacitis homo sapiens. I can tell you from experience that this illness is very contagious and feared by the Governing Body of JW's above all others. Seriously, I would go the non-specified illness. Simple and effective plus you are being honest. Cognitive Dissonance is a common illness among JW's who have a soft heart for other people.

  • cab1000
    cab1000

    Class,

    I agree 100% with that logic. I would certainly use that, but I dont want any confrontation. When it comes to reasons later, that will spill out fast.

    ~cab

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