by troubled 41 Replies latest jw friends
Hi Troubled,
Good question. I'm, after about 27 years of busting my butt for the Borg, not df'd or d'ad but not going to continue to be abused by some of the most dysfunctional people I have ever met. Not all but many are! They will not shame me if I don't go into the KH.
FEELIN BEROEAN "Just making sure!"
I've been a witness since I was 18 and I spent 29 years in it. I started to see some of the lies about maybe 10 years ago but still felt it was God's Org.
It was a painfull struggle, but I was finally able to put it all together in Febuary of this year.
As soon as I showed what I beleived to the elder's and others I was disfellowshiped. They offered no council. They were in a real hurry to shut me up, and kick me out. The brother that announce my Df'n to the Congregation last tuesday pratically shouted in to the michrophone when he did it. I sat in the 2nd row of seats. It all most felt like they were going to start clapping or something.
The Never Ending Search For Truth
Hello again, troubled.
I was one of six kids raised by a single mom who learned "the truth" in 1962 when I was five. From then until around my early/mid thirties I was a believer, through and through. A variety of events in my personal life conspired to lead me to do some research of the org's early history, specifically the Society's claim of what Jesus found when he came to inspect the earthly temple in 1918. The rest is history.
I'm more at peace about having a better understanding of many things that bothered me for years, but "happier"? Good question--hard to quantify. It's hard to argue with the built-in advantages of the org.-- the "friendships," activities, answers to all the troubling questions of life, etc. I'm neither df'd or da'd. I go to the meetings every now and then and probably will more so when my daughter ages, to keep an eye on things.
peace,
tj
winston, you were there for your own d'fing????!!!
lol, you got balls of steel man!!!!!
rock on brother!
je pense, donc, je suis
Troubled,
You and I are strange animals here! I'm still in, too. I was baptised as a teen, pioneered and was an elder. I had some emotional trouble. I basically burned myself out(Thank you, organization). I found it stressful to go to meetings because I suffered from agoraphobia(Fear of going to any public place). I gradually overcame the phobia, but it left me emotionally exhausted. It was only then that I realized that emotion was a strong component of my faith. No problem, I thought, "I'll just have to bolster the intellectual basis for faith in God and the organization. That's when things got murky. I struggled with a number of issues for about five years. At first I was scared. Later I tried desperately to disprove what I was learning. I have only now come to accept that I not a JW, at least not at heart. My wife is devastated. I've come to grips with the fact that some day in the not too distant future I will be frank with the elders about how I really feel and think. I assume that I'll be DF'ed. That will probably end my marriage. If she supports the DF'ing I can't see us staying married. This has been the biggest hurdle for me emotionally. The only remaining hurdle is telling my mother. I would like to hang on as a witness while she's alive, but she'll probably outlive me. it's not a cheery picture but I find that my despair is slowly giving way to anger. Anger can be chanelled in a positive direction. I find myself more and more determined to be myself and quit hiding. Be patient with yourself.
Keep searching, I'm sure we'll both make it out.
Hi Troubled:
I've served Jehovah for close to 50 years now...almost 40 years "IN" (raised as a child in the JW religion) and slightly over 10 years "OUT"... with close to 17 years as an "anointed" son. And, I have learned the entire distance. Actually I've found that Jehovah has provided the "answers" and more. The problem is, sometimes, we "can't handle the truth." The Real Truth. When someone gives us the truth, we refuse it. Why should Jehovah and Jesus continue to "teach" us, if we continually reject them?
Someone said above,
...Slowly the realization came to me that I had based my faith on having 'knowledge' of God and his purpose. The 'knowledge' that I had was, of course, no real knowledge at all but was, instead, a rather complicated belief system designed by men. I know now that God is not about knowing him for no one can every truly know God.
The author of these words actually spoke correctly ... that we should "base our faith upon the KNOWLEDGE OF GOD AND HIS PURPOSES." Thus, the original premise was correct.
But, shouldn't we make every attempt to "know Jehovah"? Isn't this what Jehovah wants from us? Doesn't He take "delight" in such things? -- Jeremiah 9:23, 24; 31:34; Hebrews 8:11
Doesn't Proverbs 2:1-5 say:
"My son, if you will receive my saying and treasure up my own commandments with yourself, so as to pay attention to wisdom with your ear that you may incline your heart to discernment; if, moreover, you call out for understanding itself and you give forth your voice for discernment itself, if you keep seeking for it as for silver, and as for hid treasure you keep searching for it, IN THAT CASE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THE FEAR OF JEHOVAH AND YOU WILL FIND THE VERY KNOWLEDGE OF GOD."
Realistically, this above statement, God's Word, is either true, or it is false. It is either the inspired Word of God, or it is not. It will come true for us, or it will not. The question is, have we done our part, first, searched for it as "hidden treasure" and "silver"? Have we put the Bible under a microscope...to really, really see if it is true? And did we "keep on searching for it" or did we, "Keep on seeking, keep on knocking...", as Jesus said we should. -- Matt. 7:7
I think if we would do this, we would find the Bible to be true, as I have found it to be so, in my case.
MDS
Yes Moxy - this is perfect for a poll question !
I'll set one up...
I've taken the liberty of adding a poll to your original post troubled - hope you don't mind.
No, I don't mind. Where is the poll at? In the same place with our postings or somewhere else?
p.s. Why are there different kinds of "members" in the postings? Is it based on how many times you've posted, or something else?
Yes, the polls are on the same server as the forum. ie. it doesn't go elsewhere.
Not sure what you mean by different kinds of members, could you elaborate ?
