Drive By Posting - 60 things to NOT say to a naked man (yes, 60)

wanderlustguy

I just had to share.

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don't we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It's more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
10. It looks like a night crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet are so big.
12. My last boyfriend was 4'' bigger.
13. It's ok, we'll work around it.
14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
15. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
17. Oh no, a flash headache.
18. (giggle and point)
19. Can I be honest with you?
20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
21. Let me go get my tweezers.
22. How sweet, you brought incense.
23. This explains your car.
24. You must be a growing boy.
25. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
27. Are you one of those pygmies?
28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
29. Every heard of clearasil?
30. All right, a treasure hunt!
31. I didn't know they came that small.
32. Why is God punishing you?
33. At least this won't take long.
34. I never saw one like that before.
35. What do you call this?
36. But it still works, right?
37. Damn, I hate baby-sitting.
38. It looks so unused.
39. Do you take steroids?
40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
42. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
43. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.
44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
45. Aww, it's hiding.
46. Are you cold?
47. If you get me real drunk first.
48. Is that an optical illusion?
49. What is that?
50. I'll go get the ketchup for your french fry.
51. Were you neutered?
52. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
53. Does it come with an air pump?
54. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
55. Where are the puppet strings?
56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.
58. Never mind, why bother.
59. Is that a second belly button?
60. Where's the rest of it?

IP_SEC

Why would anyone say such things about these grand, magnificent beasties?

Undecided

My wife really pulled a good one on me one day. I told her about when I went skinny dipping in the old fish pond and a fish bit me on my ding dong. She said,"I wondered what happened to the rest of it." I've never been able to get her back for this comment.

Ken P.

jeanniebeanz

33. At least this won't take long.

I actually have a technical question on this point. Is it true that the smaller they are the faster it's over? I havn't had any experience with this type of thing...

J

kls

HEE,HEE i like them all and i is going to print this out ,,,,,,,,,,,just for references you understand.

there are so many i never thought of,,,,,,,,and here they are !!!!!!!!!,,,,,,,,,,,,,,lol

candidlynuts

i dont have enough experience to answer that question either..

this is my favorite one

34. I never saw one like that before

kls

Candid your problem is that you always think they are worms( ,well maybe even a nightcrawler now and then )and you try to swollow them whole,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,look before ya chew