Planned, talked about....but didn't go........

by 95stormfront 12 Replies latest jw friends

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  95stormfront

  My wife has been talking up how much she wanted to attend this weekend's one day assembly in Rosenburg. She made all these big plans, had her hair done, been dropping hints all month that she would like it if I attended with her. (I had no intention of going and listening to that garbage.)

  I wake up at 5, turn on the TV to stir her up to get her day started, she turns over and put the covers over her head. At six o'clock, I start breakfast, nothing. I deliver breakfast to the bedroom, crispy bacon, scrambled eggs, hash browns, buttered toast, and orange juice........she eats it, never mentions going to the assembly, sets the plate aside and goes right back to sleep.

  This is not the first time she's done this. She's actually done it so many times, I've grown accustomed to her prefering to stay in bed with me or engage in anything I have planned for a day even if it coincides with her meeting.

  Are there any others with JW SO's who talks the talk constantly while at the same time succumb to any reason contrived or not to not go to meetings at the drop of a hat.
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  Brummie

  Its more interesting to just talk about it than it is to go there and listen to the drab. Glad she has no enthusiasm to carry out the plans.

  She sounds cool.

  Brummie
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  purplesofa

  I really can relate to that........I actually justified it in my mind........like.......I was gonna go .....I wanted to go, I planned to go....and even sometimes I was dressed to go and never went. I physically even felt bad those days, like a valid excuse for not going!

  I think I went through all this .......getting ready as a habit.

  I like to think I was slowly breaking the habit, kind of like when I quit smoking I would hold an unlit cigarette and pretend to smoke it!

  Now I don't say I am gonna go. And I don't feel guilty either.

  purps
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  Aude_Sapere

  I remember doing that just by myself.

  It took a few years after I stopped going to meetings to even make plans on Tuesday/Thursday evenings.

  I'd take her actions as a good sign. Let her work thru her contradictory behaviour.

  'course maybe you could help make it easier for her to accept the fact that she does not *really* want to be at the meetings and assemblies.

  -Aude.
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  Elsewhere

  Storm... you're a great guy. Patent and understanding. You two must be very happy together.
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  Ticker

  Ive seen several people like that, who didn't attend meetings but profusely swore up and down that the witnesses had the truth. I think in reality they senced problems with the organization and were more of a walk away believer, but their indoctrinated guilt and fear continues to hold them captive. In fact so bonded to the programming they automatically defend the society as if by instinct, it's views, its authority, and close their mind by thought blocking critical information.

  One lady that has completely left the oranization for over 20 years is still in fear and guilt from the indoctrination. She even voiced her disaproval of investigating the society and adamently continued to defend them as the only true religion. Normally she picks fault with the witnesses but it shocked me when I raised critical questions against the society's truthfullness and she quite rudely said she was not interested in JW's. I was just discovering much myself about the watchtower at the time and so it really was a emotional downer for me, it was discouraging because I so wanted to talk about my findings with someone who would understand. Luckily I didn't stay discouraged as I had researched into the psychological effects from post cult related experiences, I realized at the time I was only beginning to recover and I needed to stay strong emotionally or I could risk returning to the JW mentality. Her programming after all thoese years was still strong enough to go into defence mode when presented with critical anyalysis of the watchtower, strong enough that still to this day she continues to be a walk away believer.

  Another one I know basically says he is in 100% support of the witnesses and defends them regularily, but yet he holds his own biblical beliefs, some contrary to official wtbts doctrine. I would tend to think he may be another walk away beleiver who has adjusted to his own belief system, yet in talk he diligently defends them. Its amazing how long the effects of the JW mindset last, maybe we never totally shed the JW mindset. Im hoping that overtime the connections that our synapses have hardwired in our brain that have connection to watchtower related thinking will in time, reconect in an alternate thought and spiritual view based on freedom of conscience. I do believe that is why viewing such infromative sites as this one, reading critical literature, and educating oneself as to the psychological effects of involvement, are all essential tools in unweaving the watchtower web.

  Great topic, thanks for getting me thinking, its fun to reason on such topics.

  Ticker

  Ticker
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  lonelysheep

  She sounds like me at one point...knowing I didn't really want to go and would much rather spend time w/my husband! I would ask myself, "is it really necessary for me to go" and "well, I didn't go and I'm still alive". So their fear tactics on why I should be at every meeting were no longer working and showing themselves for the lie that they are. And I didn't get breakfast in bed, so I can imagine your wife saying 'the hell w/the WT!'! Lol!
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  AlmostAtheist

  First of all, in line with Else's comments, you are DA MAN! Keep it up, you obviously love your wife very much.

  Secondly, I too have been in your wife's shoes. Friday night, get the bookbag ready, look over the mags, remind myself of the place and time to meet for service, set the alarm.... then chuck the whole idea at 7am. The only bad part is all the guilt you carry around over it. I hope she can eventually drop it altogether and get out from under the guilt. WHAT A FEELING! Living guilt-free... MMmmmm.....

  Dave
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  95stormfront

  Thanks all for the compliment.

  She could actually have a full and totally guilt free enjoyable life if it weren't for that heavy chain around her ankle tying her to that dead stump that is the WT organization. It's what she's grown up with.....it's all she knows.......all her relatives are\were in.......specifically one particular person, now dead, who'd shown her more kindness in an hour of desperate need than even her immediate family who, when she needed them most, distanced themselves to protect their standing in the congregation.

  For her to even contemplate that this might not be "le sock puppet" jehovah's organization is unthinkable.

  We actually had a great day. She finally got up well past the start of the assembly purely on purpose half mumbling to herself some lame excuse on why she didn't go to temporarily placate her conscious, cleaned up around the house a little bit. We then went out, had a light lunch, and shopped for the rest of the day.

  Quality time.....more valulable than any time that would've been spent sitting in a chair amongst a hoard of brain-deads listening to regurgitated gibberish.
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  LongHairGal

  Very funny 95 stormfront!
  
  The JWs had an expression for this: mind over mattress!! This was said to me many times when I just didn't make it out in service on a Saturday morning. (I work full time 5 days a week and need the sleep). Besides, many a time I had gone to a meeting and when it was over I felt empty and lonely and realized my time would have been better doing just about anything else!!
  
  LHG