I'm off to visit my JW family for the weekend. I've been fading for about five years, so our visits are always kinda like walking in a minefield.
Anyway, I've been thinking about my friend R. R and I met and started studying in 7th grade and she is the only person I can say I directly "brought" into the org. She was the sweetest, most generous, naive, funniest, dingy person I know. I've only seen her once or twice since I moved away and got married. I thought I'd look her up this weekend, since she's now moved back to our hometown.
Talking to my sister on the phone yesterday, I told her I'd like to call up R and visit. My sister said that she had mentioned the same thing to my mom, and my mom had told her that she heard R was not doing well, and having some "problems", so she probably shouldn't contact her right now.
Two things struck me about that comment. First, having been raised around JW-speak, "not doing well" and "having problems" means that she's not going to meetings, or is depressed, or is doing things she shouldn't be doing, probably a combination of the three. I had both an ache of sympathy for her, and a flash of excitement that maybe she's escaped the org. Knowing R, I would guess she would wallow in guilt for years instead of making a break or researching on her own. So now I really want to call her up, to see how she is and tell her I'm here for her no matter what.
Second, my mom was like second mom to R. She stayed at our house all the time, hung around with us for all my teenage years. To say 'someone I love is having problems so I'd better stay away from her' is just so typically . . . JW. I know my mom is only trying to protect herself and children but geezsh.
Anyway, wish me luck . I'm off to save an old friend and try not to get myself disfellowshipped!