Hiya, tears welled up in my eyes when i read your post. All i can tell you is that i left in my early twenties and then went back to it to please my family. I was so unhappy. I tried to convince myself I was doing the right thing. I met a witness guy and got married. We were both disfellowshipped for having premartial sex even though we went and told on ourselves, long story, they needed a scapegoat or two. Anyhoo, when we had children I struggled with raising them in a religion i didn't believe in. I tried to keep up appearances for a few years, even being pressured to go the meeting when my parents came down to visit. I will never forget sitting crying on the side of the road with my 3year old little girl in the backseat, because I didn't want to go there. Pleasing my family meant being untrue to myself and my kids, so I stopped. It has taken a couple of years for my family to accept it, but they had to. I prayed for God to give me the answers to my dilemma and I mean prayed, tears running down my face. Then, one thing after another happened that made me realise that God didn't want me to hate serving Him, He wants me to love Him. That simple. For me, finally facing my family and telling them I wanted no part of that religion was the most painful, and joyful experience of my life. I never look back and wonder, did I do the right thing? I know I did. I hope you find what that right thing is for you, please know that there are people that will love you and accept you, like your boyfriend, no matter what you choose. Most important, God or Jehovah does. Please remember that.Mama
I am new and scared
by franki 52 Replies latest jw friends
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CinemaBlend
Hey Franki... Get out now. it'll only get harder later. My situation was similar to yours... I fought through it. Now I'm 28 and only now got up the courage to start working my way out of the org and make my double life my REAL life, even though that means losing every friend and family member I have ever known.
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liquidsky
(((Franki)))
I was in your exact situation 2 years ago. Even though I don't post much, this board has helped me out tremendously. I encourage you to stick around, there are plenty of others on this board who are have experienced the same as you. It gets better, I promise. Ask yourself: Do you really want to be unhappy the rest of your life, just to make the rest of your family happy?