Nature/nurture in homosexuality

by Introspection 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  Introspection

  I wanted to ask the gay and lesbian members of the board about the whole nature and nurture issue with homosexuality. I suppose when you're looking at things this way it's usually a matter of how the two interact, and not so much that it's x% or all of one or the other. But I guess some practical questions are, did you become gay or was it a matter of realizing you were gay all your life? Do you think it's ever a choice with some homosexuals, rather than, well frankly it being something you have no choice over? Thanks in advance for your response.

  BTW, those who has an opinion on homosexuality being immoral and the like, that's really not what this thread is about. I think this is a legitimate question to consider regardless of one's opinion on the matter. Of course, you can post your opinion to this thread anyway, but it just wouldn't add to the subject under consideration.

  "It is not so much that you use your mind wrongly--you usually don't use it at all. It uses you. This is the disease." -Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
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  JWinSF

  Thanx for asking the question.

  I speak only for myself, no one else. I've always been attracted to men, even before I was "sexually aware". I'd never had the JW "stereotypical" reasons for this. I never had been seduced by a man, never had sex with a man [until after I left the JWs], always avoided all means of "stimultation", i.e., avoided anything of sexually suggestive ads, articles, magazines, never associated with gays, etc.

  NOTHING, ever stopped my attraction to my own sex. Not all the prayer, not all the meeting attendance, not all the "sublimination" of thoughts. The only thing that I accomplished as a closeted gay while a JW was extreme self-hatred and the attendant depressions accommpanied by strong suicidal feelings.

  This guy now has come to realize that he was born gay. Nothing "switched" him.
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  joelbear

  My experience is similar to John's.

  I knew when I was 10 that I was very attracted to males, my uncles, the other boys in the neighborhood, football players on TV. My attraction was always to the big husky masculine guys and this hasn't changed for my entire life.

  I don't believe there is one gene that just clicks on and makes you homosexual. I think it is probably a combination of genes and other circumstances that determines exactly where on the range of homo/heterosexuality one falls.

  As I've said before, being active on the internet I have ran into 100s of married men who enjoy male/male sex on the side. You just don't see this covered in the media so people say, oh that's just gays trying to up their numbers. I can only speak from personal experience when I say that it appears to me there are lots of bisexuals out there. Bisexuals clearly choose who they want to have sex with since they are stimulated by both and many choose to have sex with both. I don't know of any male/male couples where one of them goes and sneaks some girl fun on the side, so it appears that heterosexual sex doesn't fill as many needs for bisexuals as homosexual sex does.

  I don't know any homosexual who believes they chose their sexuality. Clearly, we choose whether or not to act on it and most of us do. Show me a celibate homosexual and I'll show you a miserable homosexual.

  You could force me to marry a woman in order to fit into some societally accepted regimen of behavior, but I can assure you that woman would not be a happy camper.

  Again, in my experience, there is also a very large contingent who do it completely secretly, either through internet rendezvous, bookstore stall, parks and rest areas or just waiting til they are on a business trip to get some away from home.

  Most of my homosexual friends are closer to their mothers, but I think that's because they are homosexual. I think most people just get the cause and effect out of order. We aren't homosexuals because we were close to our mothers, we were close to our mothers because we are homosexuals.

  Sex is a spectrum. You can't bottle it up into a behavioral code. We are animals after all.

  hugs

  Joel
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  jayhawk1

  I just wanted to check the box so I can get emailed whenever anyone replies to this topic. I find this subject very interesting. I am hetrosexual, and I want to learn about how homosexuals know they are such. It is hard for me to comprehend a person's attraction to the same sex. One thing is for certain. Nobody would choose to be hated, so I know that homosexuality is not something you just choose to be. So I hope nobody takes offence to my comments here. I did not join this forum to cause problems. I joined this forum to learn about other people and to tell myself it is okay to not be a Jehovah's Witness.

  "Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford
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  joelbear

  For those who want to see a humorous side to this.

  Please visit my web page www.joelbear.com

  and click on Homosexuality for Dummies

  hugs

  Joel
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  FriendlyFellaAL

  Joelbear,

  Checked out your page the other day and have to admit that I found it absolutely hilarious. I loved the 'Homosexuality for Dummies' section but got an even bigger laugh out of the Merge Birds!
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  teejay

  Joel,

  Do you remember the name of that thread that discussed this topic? It was about a month (maybe two) ago. It went for days. I was thinking jayhawk might be interested in reading it.

  peace,
  todd