who here has gay children? (page 2)

lisaBObeesa

Kls,

I think gotcha indicated on the other thread that she is the daughter...

Gotcha, some parents are accepting of their gay children and some parents are not. Of course we all want our parent's approval and love. And it hurts soooo much when we don't get it.

There are so many people on this forum who are being shunned by thier parents for leaving the JWs..the pain is very real. Of course we all know parents should love thier children no matter what they believe in God, but some do not...or maybe they can not because of what they have been taught.

If they get upset about you being in a gay relationship, that is THEIR feelings based on THEIR religion or beliefs. It actually has nothing to do with YOU when you think about it. It has to do with how they were raised and a million other things that you have no control over. YOU can't do anything about how they feel. It is a waist of time to live your life based on THEIR feelings. But you can do somthing about YOUR feelings and what makes you happy.

Your feelings MATTER. ((((((((((gotcha)))))))))) Sometimes we gotta love ourselves when our parents can't.

-Lisa

TheEdge

gotcha - am beginning to suspect you may have a gay daughter - what I think the WORSE thing would be is that she should live a lie for fear of shunning / hatred etc - imagine repressing feelings that are NATURAL to you just because of OTHERS' opinions and prejudices? IF you live in a close knit family group / social group (as you imply) and your daughter, knowing this, has been brave and confident enough to ''come out'', she deserves support as it must have been even more difficult for her to do so - and frankly, my opinion - SOD what anyone else may think!

TheEdge

possible trauma which may be caused by society's discrimination.

........and do consider the trauma that may occur to live a lie...why worry about what OTHER people think? They can either like it or lump it.

Brummie

Gotcha, I'd highly recommend you read the link Monk3y provided. Dont divulge any information here that you dont feel comfortable with, let people guess, you dont owe anyone an explanation or an answer. You will know when its the right time for you to be more forthcoming.

Personally, I have 2 sons, they are too young to be exploring thier sexuality just yet but when they do there will be no pressure from us, whatever decision they make will be their personal decision, nothing will ever make us love them any less. I just hope that as their father they will be able to see me as someone who will embrace them unconditionaly and as someone who will support them through life.

Each person is complex, being gay or straight is only part of the comlete person. If, at the end of the day, you cant embrace their sexuality, then at least embrace all the other things that make that person unique and loveable.

Brummie

Mulan

I have a niece who is gay. It never occurred to me to try and talk to her about it. Why would I? It's her life and I completely believe she was born that way. From the time she was a very little girl, we all wondered about her. So, it wasn't a big shock and we love her to pieces.....................and her partner is like another niece, and a welcome addition to the family.

steve2

I was raised a JW and knew I was "gay" from about age four or five. After I left the JWs at age 27, I found out that at least six, and possibly seven, young JWs were also gay and had either left the organization or killed themselves.

I am pleased that when people nowadays discuss "being gay", they avoid that old trap of confusing cause and effect. A lot of literature written by anti-gay groups in the 1960s and 70s (including some by the Watchtower) implied there was something inherently disordered about being gay so that there was a claimed higher prevalence of mental disorders and substance abuse problems with the "condition". People may remember Tim LaHaye's tome The Unhappy Gays which advanced this position of mental illness being a byproduct of being gay.

Now, the argument has been reversed: It is not the "condition" of being gay that causes mental illness and other life problems, but being raised in societies that have been, at least until recent years, intolerant and very condemning of being gay. When young people - who could be considered the most vulnerable in terms of rejecting who they are - are accepted for who they are and encouraged to be "proud" of themselves, their vulnerability to mental illness is significantly reduced and they can lead productive and fulfilling lives.

Taylor S.

whatever you do ... don't try to stop them. one, it won't work ... and two, you'll just screw them up more than society is already screwing them up.

gay people are going to be what they are, no matter what the opposition.

it's like trying to force a straight person to be GAY.

taylorS

whyamihere

Well my kids are 3 and 1.

However I had a talk with my husband and I said you know it could happen. We both looked at eachother and laughed not because of the subject but because it would not bother us. My son I know can't be gay because he loves women and even walks up to them and kisses them all the time. If he did turn out to be gay I would think well ok I will have a great shopping partner and we can get our nails done. Being Gay doesn't bother me I just hope that they are happy and loving and wonderful people in this world other than that I can't ask for anything more.

Brooke

checkmate1996

Tough subject...here goes..

Homosexualtity has been around since the beginning of time. God, didn't create things that way, but are bodies are not perfect either. We are born into imperfection. Just like some kids are autistic or have some unkown incurable disease. Do we love these kids any different? No! Why should you love your parents any less or your parents love you any less? If we follow Jesus' model on loving others as he who loved all, it's pretty straighforward.

Here's the catch from the Christian point of view: It's the *act* of homosexulaity of which is the sin and is no different than lying or lusting, adultery etc. Accepting Christ into your life will transform your life. How? By empowering you with his Holy Spirit. What's God going to do different? i don't know, I'm not you, only God can work that our with you. Nonetheless, he still loves you unconditionally.

God Bless.

Thegoodgirl

My uncle is openly gay and has been for 26 years. Last year I was telling him the long story of how I had to so delicately let my mom know I didn't want to be a Witness anymore, and he said it sounded exactly like when he had to come out of the closet to his parents. I hear that Grandpa didn't accept it for about 4 years, and Grandpa felt guilty, etc. Grandma called his old girlfriends to ask what had happened between them. But I know that now, his partner is totally accepted into the family, he's like an uncle to me, and though Grandpa was always sort of uncomfortable with talking about art, theater, etc to him, Grandpa wholeheartedly accepted he and his partner.

I think my brother-in-law (husbands brother) is definetly gay, but he is in his 40s and has not told the family. They seem oblivious to it, like its never crossed their minds. He's really really depressed, and his parents think he just "needs to marry a nice girl." I don't think that is the problem at all. Anyway, I think it's better to come out and tell your family, but of course it depends on the family, etc. As for the parents, they should just accept it, of course, but I'm sure it's hard.

who here has gay children?

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