My dear niece was DF'd

by AK - Jeff 6 Replies latest jw experiences

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  AK - Jeff

  After my brother died - my sis in law made sure we had little contact with his kids, since we were 'weak'! The truth was, we were fading due to becoming aware of many things about the organization.

  Fast forward two years, and I hear that my niece - an absolutely sweet kid (now about 20) - was being DF'd. She was living with another relative, and away from the congregation she was in - kicked out of the house I think. I took the opportunity to go and see her.

  Long story short - it looks like she was being railroaded with out much reason or sin, for 'disregard of authority'. She apparently stated her mind to sis in law and the elders about something, and that lead to DF'ing.

  I, with the ulterior motive of wishing to see her break free of the organization that had held my wife and I captive for well over 30 years. I revealed the UN scandal to her, and her jaw about hit the floor. Our time was short, so I will have to meet with her soon again to see what she is going to do about this information. I hope to convince her, but have to tread slowly so as not scare her back into the arms of the organization. Steady as she goes... I hope it turns out well.

  Jeff
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  Poztate

  I hope to convince her, but have to tread slowly so as not scare her back into the arms of the organization. Steady as she goes... I hope it turns out well.

  Jeff

  I hope it turns out well for her too. Just a slow steady trickle of info should do it. JW's...even DF'ed ones are conditioned to shutdown the thinking process if they feel threatened.
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  jeanniebeanz

  I am so glad that you were able to contact her after hearing of her being df'd. I hope that you are able to open her eyes to what that group is really about; control.

  My neice was also df'd, but the relatives blocked my attempts to find and talk to her. She has still not gone back to them, and it hurts me when I think that she is completely cut off from family and that I could offer her some solace if it was not for their vile actions in keeping that comfort from her. What I would have given to have *one* person to talk to who understood what I was going through right after being kicked out...

  Poor, Ginny...

  Jean
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  AK - Jeff

  I hope it turns out well for her too. Just a slow steady trickle of info should do it. JW's...even DF'ed ones are conditioned to shutdown the thinking process if they feel threatened.

  Poztate-

  I know you are right on that. I still notice a tendancy on my part to think defensively about the organization - and I know better.

  Ginny -

  I hope you find your DF'd relative - how sad that they hide her from you even though they know they can have nothing to do with her - what a twisted mentallity..

  Jeff
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  Momof4

  Good luck Jeff! It's very wise to take things slowly. The poor girl is going through a lot right now and too much, too soon may not be a good thing at this time. Enjoy your time re-establishing your relationship, I'm sure you will be a great help to her.

  tripletmom
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  Sunspot

  Long story short - it looks like she was being railroaded with out much reason or sin, for 'disregard of authority'. She apparently stated her mind to sis in law and the elders about something, and that lead to DF'ing.

  It sure looks as if you have a good head start at getting her to see the "Real Light" as she was DFed under what seems like unfair conditions. If she is already "disregarding authority" and voicing it, that's so much better than a momentary mistake or having a cigarette!

  I'd think this would make things easier for you to regularly "speak" with her. Did you discover just what she had misgivings about? It would be a great springboard for "discussion" (wink) in the future!

  Best of luck with her. It's too bad that those who are DFed are sometimes devastated---when in reality, it's the BEST thing that could happen to them!

  hugs,

  Annie
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  AlmostAtheist

  DF'd at 20, man that hurts. If she still believes it's the truth, it's so devastating to feel that you are 'unworthy' to such an extent. I remember describing my heart as a cold, withered plum, feebily collapsing, trying to pump blood. I felt so dead.

  I hope you can help her, so she doesn't have to endure it for too long. Once she shakes off the guilt, the DF'ing won't have near the effect on her.

  Good job in getting her attention with the UN thing!

  Dave