by prophecor 18 Replies latest jw friends
Or have you shed that polyester portion of your personality?
Might that personality trait truly been authentic?
Was that really who you were, or a cover because we were required to be so civilized?
How much of that civility still remains despite no longer being a witness?
How do you interact with the world and family members now that politeness and civility are no longer a requirement, as you are no longer under the control of the WTBTS?
As a dub, I was one of the nicest people you would ever meet. I was kind, sweet and submissive. I was also miserable and hated myself and internalized every bit of stress to the point that I was very sick all the time. So yeah, I'd give you the shirt off my back but if you wanted to be my friend you had to put up with regular nervous breakdowns. Hmm, interesting trade.
Now I'm a bit of a bitch at times. I actually get pissed off (I never used to "let myself" get angry, ever) and sometimes get frustrated and sometimes even tell people "no, I can't" when they ask for the ten-millionth thing from me that day. But my honey just smiles and says "honey, you're more normal now." And I'm not sick all the time, imagine that!! lol
I guess to some extent I still hold to some of the values I was taught. I do, however, occasionally get drunk, smoke pot, cuss, I live with my girlfriend, have lots of tattoos, Oh yeah and I have publicly said that I do not believe in God. I have never had problems making friends, though. I feel that fundamentally I'm still the same person, just liberated and a lot wiser when it comes to the real world. I do believe in loving my fellow man, I try to be honest, I don't steal, I'm not a murderer, I've never commited adultery. So I guess you could say I still hold to some of the things I was taught.
In general I still am. The difference now is that I don't think, "Does someone around know I'm a JW?" If someone treats me like shit, I don't show them respect. As a matter of fact, last summer I swore at a stranger who was rude to me (threw her car door into mine, leaving a dent and not even acknowledging she did it with me right there) for the first time. I called her a bitch. She then ran over me in her car ... twice. Alright, time to put back on that old personality.
Kwin
One step at a time.
I was polite even before being a JW, because I was well brought up. I didn't change.
the initial confusion caused by leaving that religion 20 years ago sent me into a depression and confusion to the point where I did not know who or what I was....when I emrged from therapy and got on with my life I realized that I was actuallly a good, caring person; I actually like myself. I was a "regular guy". It amazed me how well I developed new friendships and relationships on the outside.
It came to me slowly; but I realized that my parents had instilled a value system in me that became part of my life; transcending any religious interference. With the help of a good therapist, I was able to shed all the JW detritous and maintain my personality.
Yes, I think of myself as a "regular guy", a decent human being; despite not being religious. The two do not necessarily go together.
I'm pretty much with franklin J.
I don't think that because I'm a good peson (most of the time) that it has to do with being raised a JW. I grew up with plenty of JW kids I thought (and still think) were rotten horrible people. The only thing that's different now is that when I am having trouble I don't put up a front that nothing's wrong, and I don't pray to be a good person. I take full responsibility for myself--good and bad.
Might that personality trait truly been authentic?
For me........I have always been polite........even before being a JW. But I am not a pushover! There have times I had to be very assertive and I can do this without feeling guilty.
HappyDad
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize "Steven Wright"
When I was a JW, I spoke softly and didn't carry a stick. Now as a non JW, I speak softly and I carry a katana.
I'm pretty much the same. My personality was formed outside the JW organization. What's different is how I view people and so my reactions are different. But the relief also comes from no longer feeling I have no right to really dislike anyone or any right to express what I really think of someone.
Even if I change my mind later on something/someone I felt negatively about, I don't worry about what I may have said, like I did before. I'll make amends as I see fit but I won't beat myself up over anything.
