marriage outside of JW

by paradox213 19 Replies latest social family

  • paradox213
    paradox213

    Can a JW marry outside of their religon?

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    marrying a non jw will result in disfellowshipment.

  • jeanniebeanz
    jeanniebeanz

    Has this changed?

    Last I heard the technical answer was that if you married a non-jw, it was not a disfellowshipping offence. If you had sex with them before marriage, then yes.

    Jean

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    well my info is probably outdated..the way everything is always changing.

    when i last attended in mid 90s it was still a df'ing offense. but who knows what the policy is now.

  • Why Georgia
    Why Georgia

    My husband married me a non-jw and was put on Reproof and he is not allowed to comment at meetings or go out in service.

    None of this really matters though at the moment since he is fading away.

  • paradox213
    paradox213

    what if they got pregnant while they where disfellowshipped? then got back in the JW?

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    If she got pregnant while not a JW, but came back begging to be reinstated, they would consel her to take up her studying again and forget you. After all, you are part of the "world". They would blame the pregnancy as a symptom of her "imperfect" state, under the influence of Satan, while out in the "world". If she reacted to the pregnancy by running back to "mother", she is also saying goodbye to that "worldly" life and to you. I don't think you can make this girl see sense, or make her want to make it right with you. As I said on the other thread,

    Paradox, you are a paradox:

    She seems to be using her pregnancy to manipulate me.
    I want nothing more than to marry her and be there for my child.

    Why would you want to marry a manipulator, a "user", who was not honest about her history, and now wants nothing to do with you? Get a paternity test, get it in writing that you are a father, insist on providing for your child, insist on visitation, and refuse to let her cut you or your child out of her life.

    But if I were you, I would let go of the "happily ever after" dream, yourself. That is your little fantasy you are going to have to get over.

  • paradox213
    paradox213

    What I meant by that is- she is currently pregnant, one day she will speak of hope -this will work...the next she will speak of negativity. I've heard that pregnant women can be very moody... I am slowly realizing I don't mean anything to her anymore. Before the pregnancy happened, we never fought, we were always happy. It was the best time of our/my life. Every now and then I can see the sweet girl I fell in love with. but the longer I'm away the worse it gets. I believe her actions/lack of action, are a precursor to alienation.

  • Why Georgia
    Why Georgia

    Speaking as a woman and someone who just had a baby a few months ago...

    I think you should continue to be loving and supportive. Even if your relationship doesn't work out you still have to find some way to deal with eachother for your childs sake.

    Also...being pregnant isn't all peaches and cream for every woman. I personally had a horrible time. It was painful on its best day and hell on its worst. I felt fat, ugly, ravenously hungry, and unloveable...ALOT!

    Then I had to also take into account my husbands feelings.....SHEEESH!!!

    Pregnancy is one of the hugest life changes a woman will ever go through. She may be dealing with issues like wondering if she will be a good mom or worrying about how to pay for diapers.

    Then there are the millions of ways JW's drop guilt bombs on you when your pregnant....believe me I know!

    Don't give up - be available, be adoring, and be loving.

  • paradox213
    paradox213

    how? she is doing everything in her power to avoid me. She says she can't even interact (talk) in person with me, without a chaperone. AND She mentioned that she's trying to "straighten her life" ...gee I didn'y kjnow I was the devil....

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