My Mormon buddy

by AloneinOh 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • AloneinOh

    I felt compelled to post this to kind of stick up for my buddy a little bit. I'm not sticking up for mormons....only sticking up for a friend that happens to be a mormon. Some may say he is secretly trying to convert me, but he really is, just a friend that happens to be a mormon.

    I am in no way endorsing mormons or have any desire to be one. The only way I would be a mormon is if the only other choice was jw. I have known him for 15 years now. MB (my buddy) is 52yrs old and raised as mormon (in Utah no less). He was a missionary overseas, but I don't remember where. He is an elder, has been for many years. He is also a bible school teacher. He is educated and has a masters in business admin.

    In the 15 years I have known him he has never, ever, not even once, mentioned anything about religious beliefs or even brought up a scripture from the bible, other than to say that he was a mormon. Not until I went to him with a religious question. When I did, he didn't give me the answer I expected. He made me find the answer myself. He only directed me to the bible and gave me general info on where to find what I was looking for. His advice to me was to read it myself. If I was sincerely looking for answers, I would understand what was there. I think this was the best advice that he could have possibly given me.

    Since then, (several months now) we have talked about all kinds of religious stuff. Always initiated by me though. The only time he brings it up is to ask me if I found what I was looking for. He never takes it any farther unless I pursue it.

    He isn't your typical mormon. At least not what my perception of a typical mormon is. We are close enough that he even confides in me with some very deep and personal feelings. Including the excommunication of his wife and all of the events surrounding it. Not something a lot of people would be willing to open up about, especially siince this is happening right now....not a past event. I really feel for what he is going through. As he really does for me in my current situation.

    Mb has even had run-ins with his mormon "superiors" because of disagreements over what is taught and believed (remember, he is an elder and teacher). He related an experience to me of the time he had such a disagreement with the bishop over a teaching that he was hauled before the mormon version of a judicial commitee. Even then, it got so bad that they ended up in front of the bishops "superiors". The end result was the issue was dropped. The reason being that although mb was not in line with mormon teaching on this subject he was in fact being truthful and what he taught did not undermine mormon beliefs. Even though they disagreed....the message was still the same.

    The way he handles it now is kind of cool. He has a corner of the stage that is his. It's HIS corner. When he speaks from the podium or the center of the stage, it is mormon teachings. When he speaks from HIS corner, it is his personal feelings on the matter and they differ from traditional mormon views. When I ask him what he believes on a subject, if he has a differing opinion, he will ask me what I viewpoint or his viewpoint.

    I can ask him absolutely anything and can be very blunt about it. I even throw way off the wall stuff at him just to see what kind of response he gives me. I told him once that it seemed to me that god was more like satan and satan was more like god. God seems to like to slap the snot out of people whenever they didn't bow down to him yet satan is always willing to accept me with open arms, never judging, never condemning. Satan wants me to have ALL of the pleasures that I desire with no strings attached. Who sounds like more fun and loving? LOL He really liked that one. But, we sat down and had an intelligent discussion. He knows that I don't really believe this. I just use it as a learning tool. He actually likes my method...thinks it helps to give me a better understanding.

    We were sitting in my office today and out of the blue I said, " ya' know mb....I hate to say this, but I really think that you have been brainwashed by the mormons....they're misleading you". For a split second he had a shocked look on his face. He then started laughing and we had a good discussion on the subject. He told me that I make talking about the bible fun.

    I also asked him about shunning and he said NO. It is excommunication and shunning is not involved. For the entry into the sacred temple, no partaking of the sacrament, no comments during bible school, no comments during any sermon or bible study. Communication and association is not affected. Mb even has a 15 yr old son who doesn't want to be a mormon and doesn't attend the church at all. According to is his decision and has no bearing on family or personal relationship. Mb has the crazy idea that shunning would only push him farther away.

    Sorry to ramble, but I just felt the need to defend my buddy a little. He is just a very good friend that happens to be a mormon. His choice of religion doesn't matter. He is a friend that I care about and respect.

    Thanks for listening.

  • under74


    I really understand what you're saying. I've known Mormons that were really stonch by the "book of mormon" types and than others that were much more liberal. While there may be things I disagree with about Mormonism I don't think it's exactly like the WTS in that the LDS has become very main stream for the most part...which is why there are groups that have broken off like the FLDS and Church of Christian Heritage.

    I know there were some posts on a thread I started that made some unfair comparisons to the WTS. Although I can't very well speak for those that posted...I did start the thread and I hope you aren't too offended. I did enjoy the story about your co-worker's son.

  • Been there
    Been there

    Maybe you should change your screen name? You aren't alone. Sounds like you have a very good life long does he.

    Thanks for the insight.

  • AloneinOh
    I know there were some posts on a thread I started that made some unfair comparisons to the WTS. Although I can't very well speak for those that posted...I did start the thread and I hope you aren't too offended. I did enjoy the story about your co-worker's son.

    Nooooo, not at at all under74. Not offended. What it did was to cause me to reflect on my feelings, and the way that I also tend to stereotype. 6 months ago if I had bumped into a jw, my instant thought would have been...."Geez...what a friggen brainwashed a-hole".

    Now, I try to have a positive view of people in general and try to see a persons good points rather than immediately making a biased opinion based on differeng viewpoints. For me, it's easier said than done.

  • upside/down

    The guy I learned the "truth" from was just like your Mb.

    Still is....

    But here I am....


  • AloneinOh

    As a side note....Mb saw my copy of COC sitting on the corner of my desk at work.He picked it up and read the forward. He even read a couple sentences aloud and then asked if he could read it when I was done. I told him he couldn't have my book, but I had 5 more copies at home if he would like one. He readily accepted my offer. I am taking 2 of them to work today. One for mb and one for a friend that dis-associated himself from the Catholic church due to his own crisis of concience.

    It seems that since I started opening up about my past, my friends have started showing their true colors. Real friends that sincerely care about me. It is very uplifting to realize that I really do have some true friends out there. Brings tears to my eyes to finally realize that there are people out there that sincerely care for me. I thought I was alone for soooo long.

  • avishai

    I've worked with two VERY cool mormon's who sound very much like your friend.

  • PinTail

    I like the Mormons, they never realy did nothing to bother me, for the most part they are fair with most everone.

    When I was hurt real bad from a head trauma it was the Mormons that paid for my month to month needs not the Jehovah's Witness's and I was in good standing with the witness's at the time, the fact is I may seriously check out the Mormons simply because they showed compassion to me.. What the hell, the book of Mormon is about as plausable as anything else. Shane

  • bebu

    Sounds to me like you have a golden friendship!!

    I have heard of a prominent Mormon in this region getting hauled over from the SLC leaders, just like your buddy; he also was a professor who had differing views... I can't remember if the issue was archeology or not...

    I wouldn't be surprised if your own journey is affecting him on almost the same level. Your conversations will likely become even more interesting... and your friendship even deeper.


  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours


    I'm glad to hear you have such a good friend. Thanks for sharing your experience.


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