I have written here before about my mother in law causing problems in my marriage and how she has not been nice to me or my two beautiful children.
So my husband, who is the most kind and forgiving man on the planet wants to give his mother another chance. He tells me she is not going to be around much longer, at the most we only have 10-15 more years before she dies. ( I thought he was trying to make me happy when he said that and accidentally smiled....which made him peeved). Then he goes on to say that he has talked with her and she is sorry about how she has treated me and the children and she would like to come for a visit.
This is after he and I had a very long and heartfelt talk and had decided she was basically disfellowshipped from our lives because of her constant B.S. and cruelty.
This was on Friday. So I start feeling ill and very reluctant about this visit. I tell him I really don't want her over but if she comes over that I don't want to be here because I can't stand her and I don't forgive her behavior. He says okay. Then my mother gets involved and says " You absolutely CAN NOT EVER leave my grandchildren alone with THAT CRAZY WOMAN - not even if husband is there because he just gets all tongue tied around her and doesn't react until later when she does and says crazy things!!" Then my mother goes on and on about don't I want to be there to make sure she doesn't try to give any WTS propaganda to my husband and children, then she recounts what happened the last time we saw her and I feel more ill realizing I cannot leave the house and have to be there for the visit. Ugggh!!!!
So she calls on Sunday within about 1/2 hour after the end of the meeting and asks to come over. She arrives acting as if nothing is wrong bringing gifts for my children and a box of chocolate. The gifts of clothing she brought my children were wrongly sized. 2 years too small for my oldest child and almost about to be too small for our baby. I'm a little confused by this because I would think that after she has had 6 children and a truck load of grandchildren she would know the sizes of clothing...but I digress. It's the thought that counts I guess but this has been what she has always done with my kids - the gifts are never right for my kids but always perfect for the other grandkids!
We are trying to be polite and good hosts and ask her if she would like something to drink. Immediately she says well I just came from the meeting and we aren't supposed to drink alcohol. My husband says to her I was talking about Orange Juice, Water, Soda, Coffee. He and I exchange the I told you so look. I'm thinking WTF - we barely drink alcohol and why would I offer any to her - I will be needing it for after she leaves!!! And I'm getting peaved at how at any opportunity she must toss in WTS BS!!!
While she is here husband and I keep a watchful eye and ear on the situation. She is playing with our oldest child and holds the baby from time to time. She is trying very hard to talk to me and be friendly. I on the other hand am going about my business because I don't want to be friendly but I will be polite. I'm doing laundry and making bread.
Our oldest child is talking to her about his birthday party which is coming up in a few days and I can see her getting irritated and wanting to say something....but I give her my patented don't say a word look. Our son continues to show her what Santa brought him for Christmas and I can see she is visibly anxious but not saying anything.
Well it comes time for her to leave after a mercilessly long 2 hour visit. She hugs everyone and asks if she can hug me and I shake my head and she hugs me anyways. I don't want to be near her because you must understand this woman is a big fake and has done nothing but be cruel and cause problems for me for the last 7 years!
So she goes to leave and hubby and I have it already understood that either he or I will talk to her about that we don't want WTS things discussed in or around our children. No books, no info from the meetings. I see that he is not going to say anything so I tell her I will walk her out.
I start it out with thanking her for visiting the children and that I hope she will continue to do so in the future as long as its on a consistent basis. She says she will do her best.
Then I tell her that husband and I would prefer that she not discuss the WTS in our home or with our children and that she is not to offer literature or the Societies opinon. She starts getting very flustered and says well this is what I believe and what MY husband believes.
I laugh.
I say. Surely you must know that husband does not believe this. We celebrate Christmas, Birthdays, Valentines day. He does not go to meetings anymore. I do not believe anything the WTS teaches and I don't want it around our family.
If you would like to find out why I do not believe what the WTS teaches I will gladly sit down with you and discuss my reasons.
She goes on with she knows that my husband still believes and that she can talk to him about the WTS and give him books if she wants. I tell her that is not the case and that if she does that she will not be a part of our life that husband and I have agreed on this point but she can ask him if she wants.
She is really getting mad and says she is no longer going to discuss this with me. She continues to insist that my husband still is a JW.
I again calmly state that no he is not one he does not go to meetings any longer and that he doesn't believe everything the WTS teaches and has a lot of questions about them. I tell her that I have shown him how the society is a false prophet and how they flip flop and he is very confused by this.
She says to me I am not going to talk to you about this and I am leaving. I say fine but I want you to understand this subject will not be brought up in our house around our children. Do you understand?
I then also say that if she tries to cause trouble for my husband with a shepherding call or by reporting him to the elders that she will not be a happy person.
I again tell her I'd like you to be a part of the childrens lives but its only if you can abide by our wishes.
So mother in law drives off in a huff and I go into the house and husband is laughing about me walking his mom out. He said what did you tell her and I told him what we discussed and he said How did she take it...and I say well how do you think. He laughed and that was pretty much the visit.
I told him, I don't think she will be coming back and he thinks she will. We'll see..
I'm just so glad its over.