Question about Dating while in Bethel?

TurnpikeJoe

Hey everyone,

I have been a lurker on this site for a couple of years. I made a few posts about a year ago and forgot my log on information so I started new. I have a question that has been bothering me and I figured you all would know the answer.

First of all, just a little info about me. I was raised a JW and i haven't been to a meeting in a about 2 years. I kind of just stopped going. Anyhoo, My wife tells me that her friend (who tried to get me and my wife to break up while we were dating) is dating a guy who is in Bethel.

Call me crazy but I thought guys in Bethel weren't allowed to date? Am I wrong about that? Is there no rule about dating while attending Bethel?

This girl is a real bitch. She will only date good looking spiritual guys. So sure enough, she sends my wife the picture of him and he looks like a model. Of course.

They aren't officially dating yet. They met once at a party and now they talk everynight. She lives in Michigan and he is in Bethel. They talk till like 3am EVERYNIGHT! Does that sound right?

So she is going to New York in a couple of weeks to visit him.

What do you guys think of this? Is this legal according to Bethel rules?

FlyingHighNow

I don't know if it's legal, but I knew a lot of guys who were engaged while at Bethel.

Euphemism

As far as I'm aware, Bethel has no rule against dating; however, if a Bethelite gets engaged, he usually has to leave Bethel unless he's been there for several years and his fiancee is a pioneer.

Wolfgirl

If I remember correctly from the few people I knew who went to Bethel, they have to agree to remain single for a few years (can't remember how long).

simplesally

Wolfgirl, the guys who went to that special ministerial training school had to subscribe to that rule: not date for 2 years. Later though, that was repealed since it smelled like a celibacy rule. Bethelites are allowed to date............in fact, some of them date rampantly!!!!!! But if they want to marry and stay at Bethel they have to apply as a couple.

Euph..........I think as long as they remain engaged they don't have to make arrangements to leave until the wedding date approaches. Or until they are accepted as a couple.

Narkissos

Very vague memories here (from about 25 years ago). I think anyone applying for Bethel as a single person understood s/he would not marry during the first year (nothing about dating). Later he could marry, with no guarantee that s/he would be allowed to stay in Bethel with his/her spouse.

blondie

Years ago, brothers had to sign on to be at Bethel for 4 years; ended around the 1970's. They could date but if they were getting married they had to leave and it was very much frowned upon, as if you had failed to fulfill a vow. Fewer and fewer brothers want to make that time commitment to Bethel, so they "adjusted" it to one year. As Euph said, brothers can stay but they have to have several years in and/or have a VIJ (very important job) sometimes known as a "heavy" brother. They do a background check on the future wife to make sure she has the necessary "spiritual" credentials. I have seen many a sister marry a Bethel brother for the status but then make it clear that they don't enjoy Bethel life. I saw 3 brothers leave Bethel because their wives proved to be squares pegs in a round hole.

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km 4/71 p. 4 Question Box

? What are the qualifications for Bethel service?

First of all, it is necessary that the individual have a deep love for Jehovah, his Word and his organization, as well as a strong desire to serve his Christian brothers around the world. Applicants agree to serve at Bethel for at least four years and work hard.

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km 10/71 p. 7 Announcements ***

We wish to take this opportunity to thank the more than 825 brothers who wrote the Society by September 15 volunteering to serve at Bethel for one year. One hundred brothers have now been invited to come in during the month of October. If some who were not invited to come on a temporary basis wish to apply for Bethel in the regular way for four or more years of service, they may request an application from the President?s Office or obtain one from their circuit servant.

THEN IN 1976 IT CHANGED

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km 3/76 p. 7 Bethel Service

Those desiring to enter Bethel service will be interested to know that there is a new application form. Persons now being called to Bethel are asked to stay for one year as a ?test of their fitness first,? and at the end of that year they may request to remain and continue their service.

Mary

Call me crazy but I thought guys in Bethel weren't allowed to date? Am I wrong about that? Is there no rule about dating while attending Bethel?

Nope, guys in Bethel can date, although the GB likes to tell them how much happier they'll be if they remain single and celebate until they're 80 years old.

This girl is a real bitch. She will only date good looking spiritual guys. So sure enough, she sends my wife the picture of him and he looks like a model. Of course.

I've known LOTS of Witnesses like this. It never fails to amaze me how many good looking Witness guys will date an absolute bitch. I mean, even if she's good looking, that's not going to matter once the honeymoon is over. When I was a teenager, my best friend was extremely good looking and all the guys wanted to go out with her. She ended up marrying one guy who was really sweet but she's made his life a living hell and he ended up leaving her last year...........

IT Support

If you're a Bethelite and your girlfriend or fiancee is visiting your room, Bethel rules require your door to be pegged open at all times.

Though I did hear of some who pegged it open with only a half-inch gap!

frankiespeakin

When I was a bethelite,,in the mid 70's I got engaged,,and a few times I sleep over my fiance's apartment. I used to feel so guilty coming to morining worship the next day,,or creeping into bethel 7am in the morning to get ready for work.

Question about Dating while in Bethel?

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