you guys i need help...please bear with as this is a rather long post...I had to give you guys the history of this....there still might be things I'm leaving out, but I'll explain in the future....
my sister wants me to help her plan my parent's wedding anniversary party. They never celebrated it in the past because my dad is an idiot. My wife and I declined to assist because of the way they have treated us in the past and because of the preferential treatment given to my sister and my fathers 7 other children. I am the youngest of 9 (my father had a previous marriage) but I'm not treated as such. I have always been mature for my age, but they sometimes treat me as if i don't know what I'm doing. I am the only one of my father's children who doesn't have children out of wedlock. Everyone comes before me to them. My father has put his other children and even worldly strangers before me. He cosigned a car for my sister's felon "baby daddy"!.....but he didn't have the time to teach me how to drive, or help me get a car! He risked his losing family his position as a MS at the KH. and he risked getting DF'ed 3 times for letting other people (family, JW's my sister's worldly friends) live with us. Each time they would let the devil stay in our house and tear the little stability we had apart. My father never had time for me. By the time I was born, he was finished raising kids. But since I showed so much promise for the truth, they were really strict on me....until I finally came to my senses....
anyway, my family was in real trouble when they let my sister's boyfriend stayed with us (the one he co-signed for)....it was only supposed to be for a night but it turned into a year.....she had gotten knocked up @ age 20.....the brothers privately reprooved her and warned my parents to get him out of our house....my father told the brothers that he as a christian could not kick a homeless man out of his home....but he finally buckled down and did it after my whole family wanted my sister's boyfriend's head and his freeloading days were over!.....no one liked him .....(this is in 98') anyway as the years go by, 2 more houseguests arrive....my aunts newly baptized loser fiance, and my fresh out of the slammer sister...I've had enough...so i tell my parents my high school sweetheart and i are moving in...she is not pleased and predicts nothing but doom...on moving day, my mother is lit up (yes she had a drinking problem) and talks really bad about us...my dad tells me i don't have his blessing and i will have the family curse (papa was a rolling stone) we didn't care....we had to leave our broken homes....( i was 21 when i moved...i lost my virginity @ 16....aso he should have been worrying YEARS ago!)
to this day they are still waiting on a grandchild from us...so anyway....2003 was the year for weddings...me my friends and family are all getting married....my big brother and older sister couldn't stand to let lil' bro jump tha broom before them so they announce their weddings as well (my wife and i ahve been together the longest).....one in April and one in June...my dad says that he won't go or participate if they are in a church....my mother said they can go....but my dad dosen't want to do it if it is.....(he's ignorant like that) so...my sister changes her destination.... to a bar/ club!!!!!....and get this....my dad walks her down the aisle, and gives her away! he brags about it at the hall....and gets in trouble for it....so my mom makes the call to me 2 weeks before my wedding in August to break the news that unfortunately, "after doing some personal research and at the brothers urging, they won't be able to participate becuz of the pagan customs like liking the unity candles....which they would have been doing....and they don't know where those customs originated from...and it would be unbeffiting of a witness, and reproachable to Jehovah"...i knew it was too good to be true so i say..."sure ma"....and she says "do u want me to explain it to your wife?....i know she won't understand"...and i say "no need...i'll tell her"....she goes..."i knew u would, u know the truth"..i say "no...not exactly, i just have to respect your decision and what u believe in"....she's at a loss for words....so anyway, the wedding is BEAUTIFUL..we got married in a sanctuary but it looked like a church...it was inside of a conference center...the word sanctuary was not put on the invitations..the only people that probably had a problem with it were my parents...the other JW's in the family didn't mind at all.....but in the back of my mind i was really sad....i would think that just this once after all the good things i did, my parents would finally really be there for me....everyone comes before me....especially the religion...they put the convention before my 5th grade graduation which was held during the day...as many times as we ran late and drove straight to the hotel, missing the first day, they didn't feel i was important enough? My dad put the meeting before my 8th grade graduation...now i can't even get your support on the most important day of my life? And they always took my sister out to eat after she graduated and not me. Am I cursed?
Just recently. I learned my sisters new car was purchased in their name!! Yet they criticized me when I went to a second hand car lot to get my first car which my wife helped me buy!!! Annd.....my sister was given a graduation party she didn't even want....when my grades and attendance were better than hers! So I was promised dinner and a gift from them for graduating. Still waiting on it. My mother is such a hypocrite..she gave me that pagan BS after she accepted gifts from her co-workers for Christmas AND from my wife and me for mother's day!! then months later say she doesn't celebrate mother's day!....and i'm still waiting on a wedding anniversary gift from them! they didn't have to give a dime for the wedding...it's just that my mother insisted that she would give us one.....i don't even care...it's just the principle...
so i wanted to ask u all..should i feel guilty for not wanting to participate or buying a gift?....i mean i will attend (if my sister actually pulls this off....i sincerely doubt it) but they have wronged me too many times while justifying it....and they want me to be okay with it....but i feel i should have nothing to do with planning the event....and their age doesn't mean anything to me either because i went years without an apology..that just shows how pathetic it is...they should know better.....they don't even visit me over here, yet they are always over my sister's house. It's like in the beginning they thought this was the house of sin...because we weren't married at first.... I can count on one hand the times they have been by here....their hypocrisy and twisted religion has scarred me long enough....JW's always bend the rules when it's convenient for them......here's an excerpt of what my sister said to my wife..i would never let her bear the load of taking care of them alone! That's fine about the party. I know what some of his issues are, not all of them..but I have had some of the same issues with them too. I just figure that life is too short and when they are gone, it will be too late to try to resolve them. They're both in their 60's and I think it's jacked up that I'm going to be the only one out of everyone that will be doing anything for them. When they're sick it'll be the same. Why doesn't he confront my mom 1 on 1? Sorry, this just kind of took me by surprise..I'll just drop it.