Update on my court proceedings

by outbutnotdown 10 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  outbutnotdown

  I received the decision from the Judge today. For any that were following it, the Judge was determining whether my ex-wife was in contempt for moving over a half hour away and a few other things.

  I'll make this fairly brief. She was found to be NOT in contempt. As I read that part, I thought that would lead to some negative decisions for me and the kids. The opposite was true. He did not force her to move back into town, but scheduled a trial ASAP (3 to 6 months away) to determine the custody issue.

  These are the GOOD things that he decided:

  1) She is not allowed to switch the kids schools. They are to remain in their present school until after the trial to determine custody.

  2) He made it an order that I have access to the kids at school as if I had sole custody. (We have joint custody but with primary residence being at her house, the school allowed her to prevent me from coming to the school for any trips, plays, sharing assemblies, etc.)

  3) He ordered that the Office of the Children's Lawyer do a re-evaluation of the children and their assessment will play a huge part in determining who gets custody. (This is GREAT news.. the last assessment showed the major negative manipulation that her and her family have inflicted on the kids, and it's gotten worse since then, so she will either have to change really quickly or the OCL will positively decide to grant me sole custody.)

  4) The Judge ordered that I was to get to see my kids twice a week (Tues & Wed.) rather than only one night. She had refused to let me see them both nights until now.

  Throughout his seven-page report, the Judge said repeatedly that my ex-wife's credibilty was greatly suspect.

  As far as the Jehovah's Witness aspect, whereby my children were to be phased out of it within a year, he said, "Mrs. XXXXXXXX's apparent unwillingness or inability to comply with paragraph 20 of the order will certainly be a major factor on the ultimate trial of the issue of whether custody ought to be varied but, given that Jehovah's Witness meetings were as frequent as three times a week at one time, I am unable to conclude that she has breached para. 20 of the order......"

  I think that says a lot as far as what decision he would have made IF the issue of custody was in front of him at that time. Hopefully my ex will abide by the order and stop my son from attending, but if not the writing is on the wall and I will get sole custody.

  If I get sole custody, by the way, I will not "take the kids away from her" but I will have the ability to ensure that their interaction with her is within environments that are what is best for them.

  Brad
• 

  kls

  So far things seem to be going your way which is great for the kids
  
  
  The farther away from the JW cult your kids are the better. Good luck in the next phase.
• 

  Valis

  but I will have the ability to ensure that their interaction with her is within environments that are what is best for them.

  yessir...that is exactly what you have to do...being w/the kids=no meetings and no preaching. However hard it may be for her to abide by that don't back down. Good on you Brad and keep fighting the good fight my firend. BTW, nice to talk to you the other day.

  Sincerely,

  District Overbeer
• 

  Purza

  Brad,

  Good to hear that there was good news in the order. I forget, do you have an attorney? Will you be conducting any discovery before trial (i.e. depositions, request for documents, etc). We are involved in a custody action now and have gone through some nightmare court hearings -- not JW related. So I know how emotionally draining this stuff is.

  I wish you the best of luck and let us know how the trial goes.

  Purza
• 

  Ailla

  You took her to court because she moved a whole half hour away? Then you want sole custody, but you don't want to actually take care of them full time. It seems that you don?t want to do the work of caring for the children full time, but you want to control your ex-wife.
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  Bryan

  Looks like things are going your way, Out. That sounds great.

  Keep us up to date.

  Bryan

  Have You Seen My Mother
• 

  Elsewhere

  Here is a PDF copy of something that the WTS sends to JWs in your ex-wife's position...

  Preparing For Child Custody Cases
• 

  Incense_and_Peppermints

  o....m....g..... they've got all the bases covered don't they? those people don't even have to think for themselves...the WTS does it for them!
• 

  outbutnotdown

  Thanks to all for your support.

  Ailla,

  When I said:

  I will not "take the kids away from her"

  I put " " around the words for a reason. Of course the children will live with me full-time if I have sole custody. I want them to be with me more now even. I spent $12,000 fighting to even get to see them. If she had her way, I wouldn't see them at all. (I now have no more funds, so I am representing myself.) The independant, court appointed Office of the Children's Lawyer determined that we should have joint custody. Since then she has gone completely against that. If she doesn't change her tactics they will grant me sole custody. They already warned her of that last year when they gave their first recommendations.

  I realize that the children need positive interaction with BOTH parents. She does not understand that obviously. I meant that my intention was not to prevent their interaction with her, but to make that interaction positive, rather than what it has mostly consisted of right now.

  She did not only move a half an hour away. I said that she had done other things too. If you care to read a bit about what she and her family have done, you can read some of my other threads. I have also posted some of the story under the name formerout (because I had lost my password).

  You paint a pretty bad picture of me without even knowing anything about it. If I was as bad as what you are suggesting, I wouldn't like myself either. I'm not sure why you made such a bold and unfair assessment of me, but it is not warranted. It is up to you if you want to accept that or not. It doesn't change reality.

  Brad
• 

  outbutnotdown

  Purza,

  I am representing myself right now. When I was in court two weeks ago I spoke to a lawyer about possibly taking my case. I told him i have no money but he asked me to meet with him after the Judge gives his decision. I am meeting with him tomorrow. Whether he takes it or not will, I think be dependant on whether he feels that he could recover the costs from my ex's side.

  The Judge did say in his findings today:

  "She testified Mr. XXXXXXXX is the reason for XXXXXXX's resistance [in visiting me], through his cursing, swearing, controlling and abusive conduct. Mrs. XXXXXXXX's evidence is neither credible, nor reliable. For example she admits to calling the Children's Aid Society with an allegation that Mr. XXXXXXXX had not fed the children anything at all for two days. Her tendency to exxagerate in this and other manners, in conjunction with her apparent willingness to believe the absolute worst about Mr. XXXXXXXX, is the primary reason for this new litigation."

  So, I'm hoping that the lawyer I am talking to tomorrow will recognize that the Judge at trial will determine that this entire process is her "fault" and that he will feel confident about recovering the costs from her side. If you have any advice in this matter, I would gladly accept it.

  Brad