Pathetic

by peggy 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • JamesThomas
    JamesThomas

    Dear Peggy,

    Welcome. You have received some very warm and wonderful replies here.

    You mentioned in your post that you "wish people were less judgmental, more compassionate of others". I have found that one of the best ways to help this along is to allow people to be as they are, without needing them to be different. Often times when we find circumstances and/or other people unacceptable, it is not them that "torment" us so much, as our own mind. Don't take my word for it; see for yourself how when we want things to be different from what they actually are there is a distinct tension and discomfort in the body. The mind may interpret this as an attack from outside, and blame and strike out at others, which often makes things much worse. It helps to be still and non-judgmentally watch how the mind and body work; which is a kindness to yourself.

    We can seldom if ever change other people; but we can change our own self awareness which naturally and effortlessly breeds compassion and kindness for others.

    Like the others, I am glad you are here and hope you stay with us dear.

    j

  • OUT and about
    OUT and about

    Wow, Dave! Does your office chair have a leather couch next to it? Eloquent and concise summary of how I feel! You should write a book.

  • seven006
    seven006

    Out,

    Iv been out 22 years, anybody can learn a lot about themselves, life, and people in that amount of time if they open their mind and choose to.

    Take care,

    Dave

  • Valis
    Valis
    Iv been out 22 years, anybody can learn a lot about themselves

    indeed...

  • orangefatcat
    orangefatcat

    Peggy welcome to JWD,

    I think that many of you have expressed the sentiments alot of us have had to endure. I deplore people who hurt other people. I am totally on the side of love and and peace. There is far too much unhappiness in this world, we don't need to be unkind to others here. All are in stages or development of healing.

    Like you I was baptized at sixteen. Was a pioneer for several years. Served where the need was greater. I have seen both good and mean in the organization, but more of late it was the later. There is a cruel streak in many JWS and some seem to be spys just looking for you to slip up so they can gossip or report you to elders. I was in the org. for 38yrs and I left in Dec 1999 and haven't looked back and I am a happy camper and answer to no one except to God and that is all that matters. Just between me and God. I ha ve seen so many witnesses hurt and used its enough to fill are pail full of barf if you get my meaning. I am now 53 years old and wish that I had h ad the courage to tell my father that I wanted out of the organization years earlier. But I knew of his wrath and the times he even tried to have me disfellowshipped. I came from a family that was pretty wierd. My dad was an aLcholic and my mother was a demonized bitch. LlITERALLY!!!!

    Even after our family became JWS we had issures in our private home. It was hard enough to deal w ith that and then other witnesses who seemed to derive joy in making your life a living hell. I hate Hypocrisy... our family was full of it. Some of the things that went on in our home behind closed doors would probably shock some people. I mean we never let on, as daddy was an elder and we were to do all that he said or else.

    I didn't read that part of the Pathetic post, but I can imagine what its was like. I think for the most part here that everyone are good people oh maybe there is a weasel or two, but ignore them and be happy. We are the only ones who can make ourselves happy. What ever we put into life we will get back... Nasty people have nothing better to do than pick on others than in my opinion they are unhappy with them selves so they lash out at others. Its their lose, they will be lonely if they are unkind. or uncaring. When you look for a friend search their goodside and if they don't have a good heart then leave them to their own misery, because there are alot of miserable people who love to be that way and leave them to their own madness.

    Don't ever change Peggy, your a wonderful person and be happy and yes love and kindness will make us a more content person and a good friend people want to hang with.

    Blessings to you Peggy and once again welcome to the board....

    love Orangefatcat

  • seven006
    seven006

    Valis,

    Please, don't ever grow up. You are the gauge I use to continually measure my sanity.

    Take care tarantula head,

    Dave

  • kaykay_mp
    kaykay_mp

    i think for me its a matter of being sort of unhappy that people today are still buying into this religion, with all the info that we have that it is a cult. So my wacky comments are the way that I choose to deal with it. In my comment on the "Pathetic JW Web Site" thread, I was saying that I could have said those things about him, but I don't really know him. I just tend to get all silly with my comments to perk up my day, because my day already sucks enough.

    laters

    kaykay_mp

  • Brummie
    Brummie

    Welcome aboard Peggy

    Glad you popped in to speak you're mind.

    Brummie

  • BrendaCloutier
    BrendaCloutier

    Peggy Welcome to JWD! I'm glad you're here.

    Others have said what I was thinking when I read your posts. I didn't open the thread on the other JW site because it didn't interest me. I don't go in for ridicule. Some do. Hey, we are all human here However, most here are very respectful. On occasion there will be a "heated" debate, and a third party will slap 'em both upside the cyber-head. But that's usually only on the full moon

    I want to congradulate you on speaking your mind. I'm sure that has been difficult to learn to do. It certainly was for me! I was baptized at 14 - Elder's daughter and all. I was pulled out of school after my sophomore year in 1972 to go into the ministry and either become a pioneer or find a husband. I never did well in FS. I'm not good at closing the sale as I always felt that people know their own mind and I don't have to tell them mine. I got married June 1975 to that good JW man. I was shunned from the get go in his congregation because I married into the "wrong" family. And this by people I knew growing up! Anyway, I left JWdom not more than 2 years later. I finally was able to leave HIM in '82 after an attempted suicide. What I'm getting at is I wasn't allowed to speak my mind as a child. I wasn't allowed to speak my mind as a wife. I had to learn. Heck, I had to learn what was in my mind!

    I'm glad you're here. Keep coming back. I've been out a long time and just got here this last summer! I keep learning new things, even about myself!

    Hugs

    Brenda

  • Momof4
    Momof4

    Hi Peggy and Welcome!!!!

    When I first started lurking at this board I too thought that there was a lot of anger but also a lot of support from people who had been in my shoes. Once I looked in a little deeper I realized that these angry ones had been severely hurt by the organization. People have lost parents, mates, children all because of the mandates of the society. So I realized this is a lot like grief. Everyone grieves differently, and who I am to tell someone not to be angry (maybe they lost a child due to lack of a blood transfusion only to find out later the blood doctrine was wrong all along) I feel like you though, I don't hate witnesses at all. I love them very much, and as a Christian I pray for them. I really hope you stick around, I'd like to hear more of your experience.

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