When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you
just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out
on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't
know.
>
> It all started one day when I was sitting at my
desk and remembered a phone call I had forgotten to
make. I found the number and dialed it.
>
> A man answered, saying, "Hello."
>
> I politely said, "This is Chris. May I please
speak with Robin Carter?" Suddenly, the phone was
slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone
could be so rude.
>
> I tracked down Robin's correct number and called
her. I had transposed the last two digits of her
phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to
call the 'wrong' number again.
>
> When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled,
"You're an asshole!" and hung up.
>
> I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole'
next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every
couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a
really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an
asshole!" It always cheered me up.
>
> When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my
therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop.
> So, I called his number and said: "Hi, this is
John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just
calling to see if you're interested in the Caller ID
program?"
>
> He yelled "NO!" and slammed the phone down.
>
> I quickly called him back and said, "That's
because you're an asshole!"
>
> One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull
into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me
off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited
for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been
waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I
noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I
wrote down his number.
>
> A couple of days later, right after calling the
first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I
thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.
>
> I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for
sale?"
>
> "Yes, it is."
>
> "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
>
> "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a
yellow house, and the car's parked right out in
front."
>
> "What's your name?"
>
> "My name is Don Burgemeyer," he said.
>
> "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
>
> "I'm home every evening after five."
>
> "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
>
> "Yes?"
>
> "Don, you're an asshole."
>
> Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed
dial, too.
>
> Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to
call. But after several months of calling them, it
wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up
with an idea.
>
> I called Asshole #1.
>
> "Hello."
>
> "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
>
> "Are you still there?" he asked.
>
> "Yeah," I said.
>
> "Stop calling me," he screamed.
>
> "Make me," I screamed back.
>
> "Who are you?" he demanded.
>
> "My name is Don Burgemeyer."
>
> "Yeah? Where do you live?"
>
> "I live at 1802 West 34th Street, ASSHOLE! It's a
yellow house, with my black beemer parked in front."
>
> He said, "I'm coming over there right now, Don.
And you had better start saying your prayers."
>
> I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
>
> Then I called Asshole #2.
>
> "Hello?" he said.
>
> "Hello, asshole," I said...again, without hanging
up.
>
> He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are!"
>
> "Yeah, you'll what?" I said.
>
> "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
>
> I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance.
I'm coming over right now."
>
> Then I hung up and immediately called the police,
saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and
that I was on my way home to kill my gay lover.
>
> Then I called Channel 9 News to let them know
about the war going down on West 34th Street. I
quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th
street. There I saw two assholes beating the crap out
of each other in front of six squad cars, a police
helicopter, and a news crew.
>
> NOW, I feel better.
>
> Anger management really works!!!
Anger management
by unbeliever 4 Replies latest social humour
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unbeliever
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little1
That's hilarious!
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Aude_Sapere
Tell me you didn't really do this...
(SOO Funny though. I spit water on my monitor!!)
-
unbeliever
Tell me you didn't really do this...
Oh gawd no. I got this in a forward. I don't think it's true.
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crazzae`face
OMG! i cant stop laughing about that! Did you seriously got that far???