by Nancy Drake 15 Replies latest jw friends
I wonder. Do you ever have feelings you wish you didn't have? People always say you shouldn't bottle up your emotions, that it's not healthy.
But if you think it's wrong to feel a certain way...(ex. jealous, anxious), isn't it better to swallow it into your stomach so no one gets hurt?
I think it's best to intellectualize your feelings. In other words, neither bottle them up, nor "just go with them". Instead, step back and look at them with self criticism, humour, and appropriate sympathy for yourself.
Angry? Sure, but mostly you're hurt. Is the hurt valid, or are you hurt/angry over something that you should be just letting go (ie, being childish)? If it's the former, admit the truth; this is deeper than your anger, this hurts. Buck up, but also open up; feel the pain, mourn the loss if it's a loss, and feel good about your honesty and toughness - you got through this with as much dignity as possible. If it's the latter; go to the mirror, smile, laugh at yourself, and say "geez, I'm pathetic. Think I'll grow up now".
Jealous? Sure, but mostly you're hurt. Is the hurt valid......?
And so on and so forth for just about every emotional event.
And never ever let anyone tell you you can't do this because you're a woman.
I have always found that going with your "gut" feeling usually is the best. I don't know how many times I have not listened to my "gut" feeling, and I have payed for it everytime.
These feelings, do they make you feel happy or sad. Find out why you feel that way about either one. Any emotions that I have "bottled" up in the past, always came back to haunt me in the future. Most times those feelings coming back had a higher price to pay than if I had just dealt with them at the time. You mentioned someone getting hurt. Hurting a little is better than hurting alot more in the future. Plus, bottling up these emotions hurts you as well. It can cause physical illness as well.
Hiding from your feelings to me, means your hiding from yourself. Dealing with your feelings is never an easy thing, if it were, everyone would do it, and the world would be a better place.
Your emotions come down to your happiness. What good is it to bottle up your feellings and cause you unhappiness. You could be having some sort of denial about your feelings. Obviously whatever feelings your having, there's a reason for them. Your subconsious maybe trying to tell you something.
i find it alot easier to just go ahead and focus those feelings towards something creative. or even just productive.
theres a certain limit to what you should do though.
but i say yes it is better to bottle up feelings. sometimes you have to for the better of a relationship/friendship. whatever
I'd rather not discuss it.
Now I know that we men aren't supposed to feel, at least not the real menz, I agree, however that it be important to go with that gut feeling, I too have paid a huge cost for not going with my gut.
Some uncomfortable feelings, however, may take time to get over. I have a huge issue looming over my life in the area of forgivness. An issue that transpired over a false accusation against me, drummed up merely for the accuser to win people to her side has had me reeling in anger for about 4 years now, eventhough I had tried to bury the proverbial hatchet and after doing so, the accuser only returns to attack again.
Forgiveness may take time. But if you have a problem with someone in that area, you may just have to thru those unsettling moments in your life.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, everyone.
The human mind and heart is so tricky. I am always amazed on how strong the body responds with sensations when your emotions are running strong. It's difficult to sort things out when you are struck with not just one, but many emotions at the same time.
Well, Merry Christmas.
Just push the feelings down. If they make you twitch, just close your other eye and pretend you're blinking. Does it work? Hehe, well look at me! -- Hank Hill
Sometimes you need to keep bquirt, think about it, meditate, muse, etc. But after all that, if it's still bothering you, you might have to deal with whatever ails you. Always instantly reacting is not always the best course, imo.
But if you think it's wrong to feel a certain way...(ex. jealous, anxious), isn't it better to swallow it into your stomach so no one gets hurt?
I don't think it's ever good to bottle up your feelings. You can let them out without hurting anyone. If you feel jelous, talk about it, you don't neccesarily have to talk about it with the person you are having the feelings towards.
In my experience, when I bottle up my feelings and don't talk about them, the next stressful situation that comes up, I just go nuts. So they come out either way, either at the time I am upset or at a later time when it has nothing to do with it.
((((HUGS))))
~sarah
