by vitty 27 Replies latest jw friends
If you have faded don't go...lie to your friend and say you are going to one which is different from hers and so on.
Do you really think they need another set of hands to pass wine and crackers...no cheeze even.
RHCP...after reading some of the other thread you have going you might be numb from something else.
From MHO Jesus used this time to spend and institute a new celebration with his so called brothers. Now that the anointed has taken the the stand that they are the brothers of Christ, he mediator and our prayers have to go through them for the Christ to hear , and as we all know they have taken the missionary position as the bride of Christ; therefore, it is their responsibility to be at the memorial not the R&F. The R&F may go if they wish, but not required since only Christ closest friends were invited to the first celebration and since the anointed are the so called bros. of Christ in their own estimation they are required to go.
Remember it is their own words that say they are the mediator between man and God. They have taken Christ's job from him they have become the mediator.
So go if you want or stay home. I DFed myself
Dan
I too am an accomplished fader, so far. As my wife is still active the ties are still there.
My first big step was to not attend the district convention. That really caused a stir. Even though I wasn't going to meetings, not going to the assembly made a statement. After not doing that for a couple of years the memorial was next. I think at that point my friends knew it was coming. The last one I attended was for PR reasons only. When you don't attend the memorial I think it is assumed that you are a lost cause, which is where you want to be IMO.
Mulan
Thanks for moving it.
Rekless,
This is a real biggy for me, when I fully realized that the WT had stepped in between me and Jesus as my mediator, cheeky buggers, I know I must have studied the watchtower dealing with it but it must have passed me by!!!! Mind you I had been in a fog for 20 years.
I dont know how long I can duck and dive, I want them to know I dont go to meetings but it makes life easier if they dont know and I dont see any of my old friends anyway.
Its just when they want to visit.
Hi Vittvin,
To answer your question - you cannot be disfellowshipped for not attending the memorial.
Here is a list of things you can be had for;
- Manslaughter.
- Sexual misconduct, including; adultery, fornication, and other forms of "por.ne'a.."
- Apostasy. (Caution: this includes celebrating 'worldly holidays)
- Drunkenness.
- Stealing, thievery, fraud.
- Deliberate, malicious lying; bearing false witness.
- Reviling; slander.
- Obscene speech.
- Failure to abstain from blood.
- Greed, gambling, extortion.
- Adamant refusal to provide materially for one's ovn family, leaving wife and children destitute when having the means to provide.
- Nonneutral activitics.
- Fits of anger, violence.
- Misuse of tobacco or addictive drugs
- Loose conduct. Term not restricted to sexual immorality.
Looks like you are doing the right thing to me. Keep as low a profile as possible, try not to be part of the flock, and you will be suprised how much will escape their attention.
Eyeslice
New Light you said: if you are completely inactive and have no contact with the congregation, they are not obligated to take judicial action against you, even if they hear a report of some sort of "wrongdoing."
My 21 yr old son who had no contact with the KH for 3 years was hunted down like a darn dog and disfellowshipped because his Dad was an active member in the congregation. My son had started having his girlfriend live with him. So it depends on whether you have family members in the congregation who are going to be tattling on you or not.
My youngest son who (age 17) has stopped meetings a year ago, is currently being pressured by visits of the Elders. They heard from his Dad that Dirk took up smoking, so they are harrassing him now. He refuses to talk to them, which really bugs them. My sons don't care one way or another if they are disfellowshipped, they just want the JW to leave them alone. And as for their Dad they have no use for him either.
I think it depends on the congregation and the people that go there. The more relaxed and less pit bull mentality of the Elders the better off folks are who are fading.
Ruth
Balsam: Sorry about your sons being harassed. I know that is not a fun game for the victims. Your right, it really all depends on the mentality of the elders and how much pressure they receive from fellow JWs to pursue matters. That passage in the elder's manual is completely open-ended and it's completely up to the individual BOE. I guess I've just been lucky so far. Knock on wood.
That day is to be holy so why would I want to go somewhere that is not, and causes me stress and pain with bad memories of injustice, and foolishness.
I also had completely faded and after 5 years and my mom caught me in my "sin" she reported me to her congregation, and they hunted me down via phone even though I lived out of town and requested I come attend a meeting with them. I refused, they DF'd me based on my unwillingness to come to their meeting and my mother's testimony that I was living with my boyfriend, even though she never even saw me or visited me.
So, yes you can be DF'd if someone in your family reports you.
Vitvinn-
I agree that you cannot be DF'd for not attending the Memorial. But beware. A caveat in the policies allows elders to view you as a member of the congregation and begin to investigate you for bad conduct, on the basis of attending as few as one meeting.
They are not restricted to that, as some have attested. Sometimes they go after 'weak ones', that have not attended for years. But technically, if they follow the rules, and we know they do not at times, you could be setting yourself up for an investigation more easily if they see you there at the hall.
I recently refused to attend a funeral at the hall, to avoid that situation. Also I don't see any reason to give them cause to think in your direction at all if you wish to fade. At least that is how we have decided to do it in the past year of our 'fade'.
Just My Opinion - Jeff
